Life and Financial Lessons from a ‘Bad Ass’ Nurse

As a practicing hospital RN for more than 46 years, I have accumulated a bit of life’s wisdom that I believe is worth sharing. I was a somewhat timid individual deferring to others on most fronts until about age 50. Experiences then made me realize that I could no longer blindly give my trust to external authorities, and I began finding my own wisdom and voice and taking more control of my life. I have a passion to help others learn this, too.

A little about me first: I loved growing up on a farm in Washington state where I had the freedom to play in the woods and ride my Honda 90 over thousands of acres with my Welsh terrier on the back. I never really wanted to leave home. I did want to quickly become independent and carry my own weight financially. My parents paid for my schooling, but I insisted on working at the college bakery and doing some cleaning jobs while taking a full academic load. In 1977 at the age of 21, I got my RN associate degree. At that time, you could take all the sciences and nursing curriculum simultaneously. I wanted to start working and figure out what I wanted to do from there. I have since worked part-time in various hospital settings, primarily in perioperative, endoscopy, and procedural sedation after a year on a medical floor.

Here are some of the lessons I've learned over my long career.

Lesson #1 – Do Not Cower! Speak Up!

I remember a particular incident that taught me this so well. In those days, I was doing conscious sedation in the operating room for a procedure that definitely needed general anesthesia. There was no backup anesthesiologist available. The surgeon was going too deep, and the patient was starting to crump. The rest of the surgical team was focused on the surgical site while the patient was rapidly devolving. They didn’t believe the vital signs warnings I gave. I looked around and realized it was truly up to me. I started shouting commands for medications and intravenous fluids that were not ordered, and that turned the situation around. There comes a point when you realize it is up to you! It is time to step up and save the situation because no one else is doing anything.

Until that point, I meekly assumed that others must know more than me. Since that day many years ago, I boldly remind myself I have a right to be there. I do have valuable skills and knowledge, and no one—no matter how aggressive they are—needs to intimidate me. Now, when a physician, manager, or coworker gets in my face, I fight off the tendency to laugh. I have been through too many situations to overreact anymore. I know what I know. I have a patch on my scrubs that a friend gave me that says, “Bad Ass Nurse.” My patients love having an experienced nurse who has their back.

I got the opportunity to apply this principle financially after several incidents in which unethical financial advisors were enriched in proportion to my losses. I have become a bold bad ass investor rather than a timid fearful one. The wake-up voice said, “Hey, no one you’re talking to has your best interests at heart like you do!” I started asking questions at Charles Schwab, and I began reading articles and books until I had enough information to fire my financial advisor and start making my own plan for the future. I began paying myself rather than enriching others who were cashing in on my lack of understanding. I will pay for specific advice when needed, but many times I can do my own research and experiment on a small scale before committing more. And I find the learning process very enjoyable.

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Lesson #2 – It’s OK to Use Common Sense

In nursing school, I was very good at following instructions, but my instructor had to take me aside and spell this out: “It is OK to use common sense.” It was a life-changing statement. I somehow had an unconscious tendency to believe that nursing and, indeed, life must be overly complex and that I should follow rigid rules determined by others who obviously knew more than me. I now take care of the obvious need rather than follow an algorithm that may or may not make sense when applied to a particular situation. For instance, if I just allow my patient to pee or use the phone or have a warm blanket, sometimes I won’t have to treat their high blood pressure, as it will resolve itself. I now know waiting and doing nothing but observing can sometimes clarify a situation or even resolve it without my doing anything invasive. My calm, reassuring presence and active listening will sometimes relieve anxiety without drugs.

Taking that lesson to investing, I have learned to avoid many so-called “expert” recommendations about complex financial products. I've realized that simplicity and transparency often will achieve better results—at least for me rather than the salesperson! I am learning that my tendency to over-tinker with my investments now that I have accumulated enough is counterproductive. I mostly have switched to low-cost index funds and ETFs that don’t need a lot of tinkering. I maximize the funding of my Roth IRA and do Roth conversions knowing that otherwise I could end up in a higher tax bracket in retirement than I am now and be subject to higher Medicare premiums. I do have a small percentage of my portfolio in Bitcoin; although it is volatile, I love the idea of an alternative to the fiat system. So far, it's been fun to learn about, and it has been very profitable.

Lesson #3 – Don’t Be Shy About Asking Questions

I have always been that student in the front row asking questions and who's been considered a barometer of my peers. It can be humiliating to expose your ignorance, but more often than not, others had the same questions I was voicing aloud.

When we’re inexperienced, we don’t know just how much we don’t know, and trying to conceal our lack of knowledge can inhibit learning. I have learned so much by asking questions. For instance, I asked, “Is this an expected outcome or an unfortunate accident?” when there was bleeding from an unexpected site after a surgery. When I went to the director of nursing and asked her questions about her plans for our organization, she said, “No one else will come and talk to me or give feedback.”

This is a lesson I wish I had learned earlier financially. I started asking my financial planners to reveal their personal net worth, how they got paid, and what investments they personally had. Uncomfortable! I didn’t know about FINRA, the financial industry regulatory authority, until I had lost hundreds of thousands of dollars to a particularly predatory advisor who cashed in on people’s fear of loss and uncertainty in the stock market. Even after successfully suing, I still have an expensive annuity and IRA funds tied up in illiquid non-tradable REITS that are not paying (yet at some point I will have to pay RMDs on them). Ouch.

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Lesson #4 – Plan for Your Freedom

My two older sisters went into nursing, and that was the last career I wanted to consider. I didn’t want to be a follower. But as I started college, I was practical, and I determined I could start down that path and become financially free from my parents as quickly as possible and then figure out what I really wanted to do with my life. I really had no aspirations career-wise. I just wanted to be a wife and mother. That was soon accomplished, and my nursing hours were minimal but a lifesaver for me emotionally. I could work outside the home and make my own money and feel appreciated and competent. Because my parents never had debt and my in-laws lived with us because of their debt, I was insistent about living beneath our means and paying down debt. By age 40, our mortgage was paid off, and I have been debt-free since. For most of my career, I contributed the maximum to my 403(b) plan. This was accomplished despite my working part-time and with a spouse not on the same page financially and while raising three kids.

There is tremendous freedom of choice when you are no longer in debt. I now work because I love serving and mentoring. But I have a choice, and that is priceless. I still have time to do the other things I love that balance out my life. It’s not all work or all play. I like both, and I get to choose. I love bedside perioperative nursing and having one-on-one mini-relationships where I have the privilege of being trusted in my patients’ time of vulnerability, and I love the challenge of alleviating their anxiety and advocating for the absolute best care in their situation. I have never wanted to be in management and know I would not be good at it. It has never been about where I could go or what I could do to make the most money. It is my calling and my joy even after all these years.

Not that I don’t love the freedom and power that comes with having money. I love my job only because I have the freedom to be selective about my work. I would hate it if I had to work full-time, do 12-plus hour shifts, take call on nights and weekends, and float to other departments like my coworkers do. Several years ago, I negotiated an ideal part-time working situation where four-hour helper shifts were added to the regular 12-hour required shifts. I sign up for 15-20 hours of short shifts per week when I am available and want to work. Since I am not dependent on this income, I can make some demands and, fortunately, it is working out nicely. I have put my time in the trenches, and now I get paid to do only what I love. And the less I work, the more I love it! We all have the privilege and responsibility to choose and plan for what is important to us.

Lesson #5 – You Can Change Your Mind

This has been a powerful concept for me. We always have a choice in front of us: to continue on the path we’re on or to change it. When I had an abusive manager at work, I chose to fight, and in time, that manager was fired. When something isn’t working for me, I am always asking, “How can I effect changes that will make things better?” By going up against this manager, I was saying “I will not live this way,” and I would have had to make another choice if things hadn’t worked out. Sometimes we may believe we’re stuck in a situation, but there is always a way to make things better if we are open to it.

By choosing to start over yet again after all those financial advisors, I have made a solid plan for my financial life, and I continually learn and make changes. I didn’t stay stuck just because I had invested so much in a bad situation.

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Lesson #6 – Simplify and Focus on What You Want

In nursing, there are vast directions one can take; fortunately, I learned what worked for me. I knew I didn’t ever want to work full-time, be in management, sit at a desk, or work remotely. I wanted direct patient care, and I wanted to be there for my kids. I wanted a work-life balance. I wanted to be an advocate for patients and for my fellow nurses. That eliminated a lot of other roads I could have gone down, but it has been increasingly satisfying as time goes on.

Financially, I wasn’t so fortunate. In my earnestness to be financially secure, I relinquished too much control to financial advisors until I was sufficiently burned. There was the friend who sold us whole life insurance (even for our kids), the high fee funds, the non-publicly traded REITS, and the annuity purchase. Even though I have always been a super saver, it wasn’t until 2017 that I fired my latest advisor. Since then, I have consolidated and simplified my portfolio, and I feel confident that I am on the right track that will see us through our lives and hopefully leave a nice legacy. I follow several financial websites, and I do have advisors I can call anytime without cost at Charles Schwab, where most of my funds are located. But I will not relinquish my control to them.

I find great satisfaction in being not just a bad ass nurse but a bad ass investor, as well!

What do you think? What other lessons that apply to life and finances have you learned? What can you teach to others?