By Dr. Margaret Curtis, WCI Columnist
Ask me or any of my female friends and we will all tell you the same thing: growing older is wonderful for women. We are largely past the intense early career and family years. We have made mistakes, some of them painful or costly, and learned from them. We are old enough to know better. We are also, through the alchemy of time and experience, tougher and more confident than any of us were in our 20s or 30s. Now that we're in our 50s, popular culture largely ignores us, but we know the truth: the Valkyries were middle-aged.
Hitting my 50s has made me a better professional. When I was first out of residency, I billed most of my office visits as Level 3 (out of 5) because I thought maybe the advice I was giving wasn’t that good. Now, I know that my advice is excellent, and I bill appropriately. I used to tread lightly around people who talked on the phone when I was in the room, didn’t do what I told them, or didn’t vaccinate their kids. Now I control the narrative in my exam rooms and save my energy for patients who want to work with me.
My husband has been both the beneficiary and the object of my assertiveness. He has talked about this so much at his office that staff now ask themselves this question when faced with a rude patient: What Would A Perimenopausal Woman Do? The answer is usually: Don’t Put Up With It. I recently fired a parent who swore at my front desk staff—something I would have lacked the gumption to do 20 years ago.
All of this gumption makes middle-aged women ideal financial planners. If you don’t believe me, I don’t care. But you can read on to learn how to be a better investor.
#1 We Are Not Afraid
We have done harder things than create a financial plan, and we have been through worse things than market downturns. I am old enough to remember Black Monday (1987), the Dot.Com Bubble (2001), and the Great Recession (2008). You know what happened after each of these? The economy bounced back, people who stayed in the market did well, and people who panicked and sold did not. Stop wringing your hands and stick to your financial plan.
#2 We Are Not Here to Impress You
We are low on estrogen, which is the “I care what you think about me” hormone. My investment portfolio is appropriate for my family and backed by years of data. We primarily use the following index funds:
US Large/Med Cap Stocks: Fidelity Total Market Index (FSKAX)
US Small Cap: Fidelity Small Cap Index (FSSNX)
International: Fidelity International Index (FSPSX)
Bonds: Fidelity US Bond Index (FSNAX)
REITs: Fidelity Real Estate Index (FSRNX)
We also own a single-family rental. If you think this portfolio is boring, you are right. But I didn’t ask for your opinion.
#3 We Have Other Priorities
I am the first to say that I live a life of abundance: family, friendships, dogs, a garden, a hockey rink in the backyard, and plenty of hobbies that have nothing to do with finance. I don’t have time or inclination to do dumb stuff like day-trade or pick individual stocks. We started out with a standard 60% stock/40% bond and REIT portfolio, which we are transitioning to be more conservative as we get closer to retirement. Now we have a 50/50 blend, with further breakdown into large/small/international stocks:
I rebalance every six months or when our total allocation is out of whack by 5% or more. The research on optimal rebalancing strategies agrees with me. If you still think I’m doing it wrong, re-read #2.
#4 We Do Not Suffer Fools Gladly
A male colleague once promised to share with me his “curriculum for teaching women to breastfeed,” despite the fact that I have spent more of my life breastfeeding than he spent in medical school. Not financial, obviously, but I added him to the gallery of people who tried to give me unsolicited, unwanted, and incorrect advice.
This is where I should probably put in a caveat like, “This is not gendered!” But I’m also not here to be conciliatory. This is totally gendered. Male financial advisors have tried to sell me actively managed funds and high-commission products. Male bosses have told me the following: I should take a pay cut for working during a pandemic, a Simple IRA is not an IRA, and not getting paid time off is actually an “opportunity” for me. If you want to sell me whole life insurance or crypto, ask yourself if you have something those gentlemen did not.
I no longer mistake overconfidence for competence, and neither should you.
#5 We Trust Our Own Judgment
I hear a lot of young(er) women talk about pressures they feel to make career or money moves that involve giving up their autonomy: a spouse that won’t share oversight of their finances or who wants to make a whackadoo investment, or an employer who wants them to work more hours or outside their scope of practice. My answer to them is always the same: In my 51 years, I have never—not once—been glad I substituted someone else’s judgment for my own.
This is not gendered. I manage our family’s investments but my husband checks in regularly. If you want someone else to manage your finances—be it a friend, relative, or professional—you must be part of making the plan and then insist that it be followed. If you don’t know how to make a financial plan, you can learn. And if someone tries to pressure you into making unsound decisions, don’t budge. All my middle-aged friends and I will have your back.
Getting older has many joys. If you have children in your life, seeing them grow and come into their own is a marvel. The novelty of an early career is gone but so is the anxiety, and instead, there is a pleasant sense of mastery. The real physical decline is hopefully still a few years off, although my dentist has started to ask me disturbing questions like, “How often do you find food trapped in your gums?” If you run a race, people will cheer you because you are an inspiration.
Hopefully, you are on sound financial footing, and you can start to enjoy the fruits of your labor (if you aren’t yet, you still can be. Start here.). No matter your age, you can learn the skills and savvy to navigate any financial waters—and if you feel short on both, just ask a middle-aged woman. We’ve got plenty.
If you're in your 40s or 50s, can you relate to this attitude? What other financial lessons have you learned as you journey through middle age? Is it true that the older you become, the wiser you get? Comment below!
Dear Dr Curtis-
It’s late at night and I should be asleep but while cleaning out my inbox, I couldn’t help reading your blog. I am exactly your age. Your words are exactly my thoughts. It is amazing how you were able to verbalize exactly how I feel about my stage in life compared to when I was in my 20s and 30s. I actually went to Podiatry school in my late 30s. I am now an empty nester as of next week. I just recently re-connected with some of my classmates, Who are just beginning their journey of raising a family. I am able to look back on the last 20 years with some solace, remembering how stressful that life stage was . When it came to investing, I pretty much did what you did. I stuck with the plan, for fear that I may have nothing when I retire. I am now 51, just like you. I have stuck to my plan. My kids are now in expensive schools (unfortunately), but my plan is working . I think I won’t be homeless now putting two kids through college. In addition to Dollar cost averaging into a retirement mutual fund, I also invest in single-family homes to create another source of passive income. My plan seems to be working so far. Fingers crossed.
That was truly a wonderful article. The spunk of a woman in her 50s is so well expressed!! Thank you for your insightful blog.
Jenny
Well done Dr Jennifer! You are crushing it and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I listen to my younger colleagues talk about their little kids with a mixture of envy and relief. Envy because those years are wonderful (and the teenage years are RUGGED) and relief because I get to sleep all night in my own bed.
Cheers to you, and us. Thanks for reading.
Definitely reminds me of one of my recently retired partners. The entire time we spent working together she was in her 50s. She doesn’t take anything from anyone.
It would be a fun read for Dr. Curtis and Dr. Racela to collaborate on a post!
The Crone Wars
That’s the title.
Ha! Dr. Curtis definitely better writer than I am! margaret, you definitely would take the lead if we wrote a post together.
btw, I’m a 41yo guy, and I invest like you 🙂
great post!
Rikki, I’m in!
That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said about Dr. Racela.
I couldn’t agree with you more. All of what you said resonates deeply with me, and it’s nice to hear other women are on the same path, and experience similar struggles and wins. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Thank you for reading, and for the kind words!
Well said Margaret I wholeheartedly agree. The 50’s are fabulous!!! It’s also great to emphasize not to be chasing new strategies but stay the course. Would love to connect!!
Amen. Are you on the WCI forum?
Great post with great advice, but the male bashing is inappropriate … People being overconfident in their investments is problematic. That is an issue with both males and females. No need to stereotype and generalize.
There is some literature on males being subject to overconfidence biases to a higher extent, but the variability within the groups is so much higher than the variability between the groups that maybe it’s best not to generalize / stereotype. Overconfidence biases is something we should all be mindful of.
It’s not “some literature”. To my knowledge, it’s well established fact that women’s investments as a whole perform better than those of men due to differences in behavioral errors. I think Fidelity put out a recent study just a year ago on this topic.
The Fidelity study showed that women outperformed because women traded less and incurred less transaction costs. But in other studies women are more risk averse and have lower allocation to stocks and underperform. The media doesn’t like to highlight those studies. In general, people shouldn’t be overconfident or risk averse. It will undermine investment results. It doesn’t matter what gender they are. People also shouldn’t discriminate or disparage people by gender. It’s bad karma.
I don’t see this as “male bashing”. This is reality.
No, it’s gendered.
My entire life men have told me that I shouldn’t say what I know to be true: bosses, colleagues, friends and acquaintances, and now a stranger on the Internet.
Yes!
“I no longer mistake overconfidence for competence, and neither should you.”
When I realized this…… my perception changed completely.
There are just so many better ways to get a point across nowadays without these kinds of inflammatory posts. Especially on a site like this where it is completely out of line and uncalled for. It saddens me the state of the feminist movement currently. No wonder there is little to no traction and it is viewed as a joke by both men and women. We can all be better but not all of us have a platform to reach thousands and thousands of readers like you do Margaret. You have sunken to the level of those you were admittedly trying to “bash”. Simply disgraceful.
I also winced at the gendering.
These are rules to live life by that apply to all people, male as well as female.
I like the message, not the baggage.
Not sure why the author bothered – it was unabashed male bashing . (Is that redundant ?)
If I want to read arrogant essays I can find more qualified sources.
She doesn’t care. Go read something else.
LOL! Precisely 😀
There’s nothing more fragile than an overconfident male ego. LOL!
As a male, I thought the post was spot on and useful, and is completely in keeping with the WCI theme of no-nonsense financial advice.
I just went through and read the post. I was expecting a much more anti-male statement somewhere in the post given how many comments talk about “male-bashing.”
I was also surprised not to see links to the studies showing women tend to be better investors than men. Fidelity says 0.4% better.
https://www.cnbc.com/2022/04/11/op-ed-heres-why-women-are-better-investors-than-men.html
Do you not read all the articles before posting on your website?
That’s Josh’s job. Why would we pay him if I had to do his job myself? Maybe you’ve been around since 2013 when I was the only one working here, but probably not.
Me <---- Founder, podcaster, columnist, CEO Josh <----- Content director Various writers <--------- columnists Various other writers <--------- guest posters No. I don't always read everything before it's posted. This isn't "Jim's blog". It's The White Coat Investor and it's produced by a community of people including those leaving comments. I don't read all of those before they're posted either. Nor everything on the FB Group, Subreddit, or Forum. In fact, I go weeks without looking at those at times. More about WCI staff members here: https://www.whitecoatinvestor.com/about/
Jennifer was the number one girl name the year I was born which might be why you’ve had responses from three of us so far. I am almost out of my 50s however your column resonates. I only wish; more importantly than financial savvy which has time to develop, grow, and recover from any mistakes of 20 to 30 year olds; that 10 to 30+ year old women had our assertiveness when it came to sexual harassment and predation. I hope I’ve instilled in my daughters the willingness and ability to do what I would do now should anyone try to mistreat me. Which begs the question: is it really that us 40 to 80 year old women are less attractive to would be harassers, or is it just that they know we are much less likely to accept bad behavior without injury to their person, their reputation, and/or their career?
Thank you for your charming article.
lol – when I meet a Jenny or Jennifer, 95% of the time they were born in the 70’s
That’s why part of my kid naming choices were guided by what was #100-500 in popularity for that particular year. I’ve turned my head for someone hollering a variant of Jennifer in my area so many times I wanted to spare my kids that. Instead I’ve got a V- who is misnamed one of the 2-3 other V- names 35% of the time usually by teachers.
lol same here when I had kids. I wanted a unique name. 2001 – “Sofia” was not even on the list, which is why I and every other new parent chose that name for their girl that year. As we all now know, “Sofia”, “Sophia” , etc is the most popular GenZ name. At least we chose the spelling with the “f”. Go figure!
My sister-in-law is a Jenny. Her parents had a baby name book called “Beyond Jason and Jennifer”, and she complains that they never actually opened the book 😂
I am quite enjoying all you Jennifers and your contributions!
We tried to give our kids first names that they would not have to spell out to people since they’ll have to spell their last name out every time. Utah is particularly bad for weirdly spelled names.
As a 51-year-old woman I love this Dr. Curtis.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.
This totally resonates. And I am not at all surprised that some rather thin-skinned replies seem to be taking this column as a personal attack.
It’s kind of fun to see WCI being called anti-men after years of hearing it be called anti-women. I guess we’re equal opportunity offenders around here. What’s the old saying? “I don’t discriminate, I hate everyone.”
After my article on the dual physician family, a commenter here criticized me for giving up my traditional role as stay-at-home mom. A commenter on another platform (Instagram?) said the article was “nauseating” because I was so traditional. Still hoping those two will get together and come to some kind of agreement about just how I’m doing this all wrong.
Did I mention the part about how you can’t win on the internet when you started writing for us? 🙂
This article is gold. And hilarious. As I approach my 50s I am experiencing that same shift in confidence and perspective, in finance, work, and life in general. It feels great, and it’s fun to know this is shared among women here!
As a side note, it’s interesting (and disappointing) how the men’s responses here seem to jump to defensiveness, while the women are cheering. We women are cheering because we share in the experiences Dr Curtis describes. These are common daily experiences we have, and it’s ok for us to “bash” on those experiences.
If your instinct is to become defensive, consider cheering with us instead! Confident, knowledgeable, level-headed investors, men AND women, are stronger together and can learn from each other’s strengths. Worth cheering for if you ask me. (And I know you didn’t ask me. But as the author points out… I don’t care 😁 )
You said it! Great post!
Yes, I’m female. I didn’t see it as male-bashing; the author called it as she saw it!
Thank you for writing this humorous and truthful piece! I am in my early 40s and agree that aging has helped confidence, assertiveness, and perspective – which it can for anyone regardless of gender. I don’t take your article to be male bashing at all. It’s pointing out the reality in which we women live. It’s easier for your article to resonate with women obviously because many men are oblivious to the experience of women whether it’s in healthcare, the workplace, or the financial world. For anyone offended by this article, I encourage you to have a woman in your life read it and to have a discussion with her about it before posting about feeling “bashed.”
“Researchers from Cass Business School and the University of Bristol have discovered that women are more risk averse than men when it comes to financial risk taking.”
Point #1 of your essay is unscientific. The literature suggests otherwise– https://www.city.ac.uk/news-and-events/news/2019/10/women-dislike-financial-risk-taking-research-finds. However, we shouldn’t generalize and stereotype on the basis of gender like you do in your essay where you find it appropriate to disparage men.
The variability within genders is far greater than the variability between genders.
I’m not sure that “taking less risk” and “being a better investor” are necessarily opposing things. Maybe the guys are taking on too much risk and the ladies are taking on an appropriate amount.
That was a great article. Insightful and very funny. It’s rare that I read an article that makes me laugh out loud and educates at the same time.
I have to agree with the author that, by far, most of the shysters I have encountered in the financial field have been men. And this is coming from a man. To be fair, I haven’t encountered that many women in the field at all. So, given the conflicts of interests and the one sided incentives inherent in the field, maybe women fall prey to the same tactics and I just haven’t encountered it yet.
To be fair, most people in finance ARE men. So of course most shysters will be men. I mean, a gathering of finance folks makes orthopedics look downright egalitarian.
This was great…. Keep creating great material with an entertaining twist!
This is a reality not exclusive to women. It includes folks in racial minorities, LGBQT, those with “different” personalities, those with disabilities, etc. I’m sure typical white males experience this too.
I suspect the people who find humor in the “male bashing” parts of this article probably also take offense when someone writes about women in a similar manner. I think we need less devisive writing on this blog.
I immensely enjoyed reading this article as it succinctly verbalizes and validates my recent thoughts…and behaviors. After 15 years of witnessing for myself the staggering gap in pay and advancement opportunities between male and female colleagues in academic surgery, I resolved to get my financial house in order. I am happy to say that, much to the befuddlement of my mansplaining colleagues, I reached financial independence at the age of 45 and chose to take early retirement (which, at this age and
for me specifically means pursuing paid and unpaid “work” as a surgeon and otherwise, just on my own terms). Gaining an understanding of financial markets empowered me to become an active manager of my own portfolio, something I’ve come to truly enjoy doing! My asset allocation very much falls on the “riskier” side of the spectrum, but my being an outlier among women (according to the cited article) is missing the point. A gender gap in financial literacy exists and this gap leaves women at a disadvantage. Add that to the long list of opportunities for improvement where gender disparities are concerned.
I love this! Would love to hear more about what you are doing now, as a surgeon and otherwise. Congratulations!
Awesome! Congrats on your success! You should consider coming on the milestones podcast.
https://www.whitecoatinvestor.com/milestones
People shouldn’t be mocked and stereotyped, regardless of gender. This blog shouldn’t be a platform for bigotry just because it’s more socially acceptable to mock men than women.
The research says women are more risk averse. Next is this blog going to host posts saying “invest like 50 year old men” because women have asset allocations that aren’t invested enough in stocks? Yes, I know that other research shows that men overtrade, incur excess transaction costs, and underperform. For this post, though, some bigot could cherrypick the research that shows women are too risk averse and don’t hold enough stocks.
I implore this blog not to run that essay either. That would be bigotry. There are all types of investment mistakes made by people of all genders. Lots of people are overconfident and can overtrade and can be risk averse. It’s unnecessary to stereotype and mock.
Tom,
You just read a column about empowerment. You take such offense that you think it’s appropriate to call it bigotry? What’s going on with you, man?
I’ll start working on the post right away. 🙂 A lot of it would be similar to this post though. We are simply smarter (and much less idealistic) in our 50s no matter our gender.
Bigotry is a bit of a reach here though.
Love this ^^
First I pondered for about 5 minutes about whether I should make this post, but I finally came to the realization that this is one person’s point of view and I have been a blogger here for many years and enjoy the points of view even though I am not a doctor or in the medical field. Just the opposite, an engineer, who when retired from that took up financial consulting and now have retired from that after 10 years of a very small practice. In those 10 years, I had 8 clients, and 3 were married. I never advertised and they just came to me either by word of mouth or through my blogging. My first client was less than 30 while all the others were in their 50s at least for some part of our relationship. I never lost a client until a couple of years ago, during 2020, one just fell off the radar and didn’t get back to me. 7 of the 8 were women. In the area of risk, 7 were invested 100% in mutual funds or ETFs, except one of the 7 had just a few small stock positions. The eighth had a number of stocks when he met me, but much less now. In early 2020, two of the eight made some minor changes to their portfolios as they became uncomfortable with the exposure they had to equities. The rest road it out.
I will let the readers draw whatever conclusion they want from the above. It is just a small slice of the investing world, but it is my experience.
I’m all for this woman saying whatever she wants. The larger problem, and why you get the “Toms” occasionally (with his posts that aren’t technically wrong but lame if calling for censoring) is that you would never allow a man to post such a thing, or a similar thing, in the first place – especially if it is the truth. Men are better at a whole host of things than women, but in the modern day, we have to act like they aren’t for some dumb reason. Are men (over)confident and take a lot of risk, by and large? Yeah, they make it big and they fail – both – and the funny thing is that no one cares about the broke bums, but complain about the hugely successful 1% of the winners.
She was right about the truth bomb of estrogen, read that again and extrapolate. I applaud the OP for at least that.
That’s a fair criticism. Of course you’re right but politicial correctness/sensitivity is what it is and it isn’t going to change any time soon.
This sort of thing becomes most nonsensical in the discussions about infantry. I find it fascinating that the requirements are different for men and women to join the army and advanced infantry. But when it comes to joining the rangers, the women have to meet the same physical requirements, which is the way it should be in a job that has, well, physical requirements.
https://work.chron.com/armys-minimum-physical-requirements-join-13518.html
I find your comments about risk-taking and entrepreneurs interesting though. Got a link to a study there?
What exactly? Mine was more of a biological realities of the differences between the sexes and the history of man. Women have lower ceilings due to being more conservative. Men have higher ceilings but far more losers — that no one cares about, men or women alike. Of course, all of this is just basic sperm cheap eggs expensive stuff, in a nutshell. Whether we want to admit it or not (we act this way now and historically), men are expendable. That’s why they deserve deference and greater reward; they live lives of risk every day.
How are those physical fitness standards set? By male or female physical ability? If all recruits should have the standard as women, then it’s all the same.
“19 push-ups, 53 sit-ups and two miles of running in 18 minutes and 54 seconds or less.”
I’m no general, but if the job requires a certain level of fitness (i.e. the ability to pick up a 200 lb comrade and carry him or her off the battlefield) then there should not be a gender-based allowance made. Take something where the standards are really high, such as becoming a Navy Seal. So far only one woman has met the requirements. But the requirements are what they are. There isn’t a separate requirement for women.
But just general fitness to be an Air Force doc? Sure, it’s not crazy to have a lower physical fitness standard for the women. Although to be fair, maybe everyone should have that lower standard.
Great article. Thanks for positing! I’m always baffled at people who spend so much time researching and blowing money on day trading, specific stocks, crypto… there are such easier ways… Then you can spend your free time on the fun stuff. I am sure for some, that is the fun stuff, but not for me. There is not any general male bashing to be seen in this post – just some deserved specific male bashing.
“In my 51 years, I have never—not once—been glad I substituted someone else’s judgment for my own”.
Hmmm… really? Not once? Not even in your teens or 20s?
It’s too bad, because I greatly enjoyed your anecdotes and irreverence up to this point. But with this proclamation, you torched your credibility and set off warning bells in my head.
There’s a name for those who unfailingly believe in the superiority of their own judgment (and, no, it’s not “surgeon“). In my 52 years, I have yet to meet someone that wise.
I had to chuckle at the surgeon comment because I saw it coming….
“Sometimes right, sometimes wrong, never in doubt.”
You make a very fair point. My judgement is not perfect – but it is my own, and the mistakes we make because of our own poor judgement are much easier to live with than those we make because we trusted someone else’s poor judgement., in my experience.
I am a 53 year old woman and agree with you 100%.
Thank you Gayle!
Not really trying to “mansplain” but I think this needs some clarification.
“We started out with a standard 60% stock/40% bond and REIT portfolio, which we are transitioning to be more conservative as we get closer to retirement. Now we have a 50/50 blend, with further breakdown into large/small/international stocks.”
A 50/50 blend is 50% equity and 50% bonds. The 25% real estate is considered equity. So you really have a 75% equity / 25% bond blend.
I agree with you Mark. REITs are stocks. They don’t act like bonds just like dividend stocks aren’t bonds. It’s fine to break real estate out into its own allocation (I do, 60/20/20), but if you’re going to lump them into stocks or bonds, stocks is the place to put them.
I’ll allow it.
Thanks. I really enjoyed your post.
Love the post! A little surprised to see so many male docs get butt-hurt (lighten up, guys, if this piece really upsets you you probably should stay off anything else on the internet). Gender aside, as a late-50’s year old MAN I’ve come to feel nearly exactly the same way as the writer. I think it’s a combination of experience (dare I say wisdom?), fatigue, self-realization, and, yes, relative financial independence that makes me suffer fools much less. And a good portion of my financial self-confidence has come from following the WCI. I’m currently interviewing financial advisers for a particular investment focus and I cut straight to the “What is your fee structure, what are your certifications, what is your overall philosophy and do you have any particular area of expertise?” I didn’t have the knowledge or confidence to do this when I was younger. Huh, maybe I’m just post menopausal…
Ha yes!
Maybe consider posting on the forum for support and strategies to determine if you actually need a financial advisor?
To my fellow white wealthy straight male doctor colleagues,
When we take offense or bristle at posts like this we are demonstrating exactly why posts like this are necessary and valuable. The privileges society and culture extend to us by default because of how we look, the letters after our names, our presumed wealth, and/or the way we relate in our personal lives are not always identifiable and clear to us. We have gone through our entire lives with the world at large making content designed by us and for us.
This is particularly true in the financial landscape where we have been, and continue to be, the assumed audience. Hence we have no memories of reading an article titled, “Invest like a 50 year old man”. But in reality we have read hundreds of such articles with titles like “10 investing changes to consider as you approach retirement” published in Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, or any number of publications that view us as their target demographic.
When we take public offense at gendered articles because “you would never tolerate a man saying that” I think it reveals that we are conflating the notions of equality and equity.
Equality is treating everyone the same.
Equity is treating everyone differently so that we can all get to the same place.
This concept is illustrated with this simple graphic:
https://interactioninstitute.org/illustrating-equality-vs-equity/
It shows three people of different heights attempting to see a baseball game over a fence. One person is tall enough to see it without any help. One person needs to stand on one box to see over and the other person needs the help of two boxes to see the game.
Each person is given a different amount of aid to reach an equitable viewing position. Someone that is solely committed to the notion of equality would say this solution is unfair because the amount of aid was not equally distributed. However if equity is our goal, there are no objections to this solution.
This distinction is a subtle but critical difference when contemplating the intent of media published by or intended to serve a marginalized group. Those who have not been the beneficiaries of millennia of gender and racial privilege are correct to voice their specific viewpoint and bring attention to the fact those perspectives may divert from the standard narrative of their audience.
Those of us who have benefited so much from these standard narratives have an opportunity to use both our earned and unearned privilege to support, rather than attack something that may not, surprisingly to us, be intended directly for us.
What if we instead of becoming anxious at the rise in equity in ranks, we instead thank Dr. Dahle and celebrate Dr. Curtis for working to create a small piece of ground within this broad financial landscape where the seeds of equity can grow? What harm is there is choosing to lift up someone else who has not been given the cultural boxes to stand on that we have been standing on our entire life? Don’t we all win when all of us stand tall enough to watch the baseball game of a joyful life together?
Thank you Jim for seeing the importance of highlighting other voices.
Thank you Margaret for sharing your perspective.
I am better for it and look forward to learning more from both of you.
You sir are the problem. Take your lies and guilt elsewhere.
Your bigotry is the bigotry of low expectations. Others need help, and this necessitates hamstringing the achievers at the same time, because they can’t compete with the “white straight males” … admitting implicitly the truth of the situation if one cares about real merit and fairness.
You know the funniest part? Even in spite of all of your lies and attempts to hinder group X, the competent STILL rise to the top. But I’m sure you’re happy you sabotaged a few along the way, now aren’t you?
And the reputation you give to those you “help” is one, ironically, of distrust, since they needed a different standard of achievement when compared to the real achievers, the actually competent people. Great job – you played yourself. The best part about it is that everyone knows this, whether they talk about it out loud or not.
This reply fails both to make any sense or to advance the conversation in a meaningful way. Your non-sensical fit of ignorance only serves to confirm the commenter’s point.
Swing and a miss on that one Chewy.
Love this article. Love it so much, in fact, that I’ve printed it out for my home office bulletin board. As a woman now 60, who has always managed our family finances because it gives my husband (a software developer) “a sick headache”, I can not only relate, but celebrate, the wisdom and self-possession achieved by a woman in her 50’s (and beyond) – but it is encouraging to see it so unapologetically posted here. I will also say that the comments about male bashing are just plain silly. To troll a woman for writing honestly about situations where her life experiences intersected with men is yet another avenue by which males can negate female voices. I gave the article to my husband of 28 years. He enjoyed it and could also relate to it in many ways (a mature perspective resonates with all – regardless of gender). He also said it wasn’t male bashing, it was blow-hard bashing. If you are a male, and an overbearing blow-hard, you’re likely to be offended. If not, you only see the blunt truthfulness and humor in it. Please keep writing for us Dr. Curtis!
Amen