[Editor's Note: This post was written by Passive Income MD on a subject I think about a great deal. At a certain point in life, time becomes more valuable than money. While you can usually exchange time for money, it is often far harder to exchange money for time, and at a certain point, no amount of money buys you any more time.]
A few days ago, a “more experienced” colleague and I were discussing our plans for the rest of the summer. When he began to tell me what his plans were, he casually mentioned something that has really stuck with me. He said, “I don’t have too many summers left, so…”
We both laughed good-naturedly at the time, but even after the conversation ended, I couldn’t get that little thought out of my head. I mean, really, I began to wonder, how many more summers do I have left? I’m turning 40 this year. It’s a big year. Considering the average male’s life expectancy in the US is 78.74 years, that means I have about 38-40 summers left, statistically speaking.
The thought was a little unsettling. But there are two ways to look at the fleeting nature of time. Sure, I could say that I’m halfway through all the summers I’ll ever have. But this also means that I have half a lifetime of summers yet to experience, and I need to make the most of them.
Do I want to spend another summer missing holidays with the family and working weekends? Or do I want to make each one count by traveling and spending time with my family? How many summers will I have before my kids are all grown up and off into the world?
I did a little more thinking, and determined that there are a few major ways to make the most of the time I have. And of course, I decided to jot it down and share it with the world. I’d love to know if you feel the same.
I Have to Be Very Intentional with My Time
If there’s something I’ve been longing to do, and it makes sense in the context of my current life and family, then I should make time for it. If doing something doesn’t add value to my life in some way, I shouldn’t waste any more of my most precious resource on it.
I Need to Prioritize and Set Definitive Goals
I realize that if I’m going to be more intentional with my time, I need to prioritize things that will help me achieve the goals that I set. So I’m going to write down definitive goals for my family life and my career. It’s easier to know what path I should take where I know where I want to go.
For example, I want to take 4 family trips a year. I want to coach sports and be there at my kids’ games in the future. I want to spend holidays at home and not in the hospital. I want to work because I’m passionate and love what I’m doing, not because I feel bound to it – that will likely mean working about 60% of full time.
I Need to Take Better Care of My Health
In order to see more summers, I need to focus on this…now. Working long overnight shifts can’t be good for the body. I’ve got to eat better, I’ve got to exercise more, and find more ways to de-stress. Maybe I need to meditate more (like The Happy Philosopher).
I Should Work Less… Now
As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been slowly reducing my at-work time in order to achieve the right work-life balance. I’ve already dropped my clinical time 10-15% from last year and thought I was going at a good pace, but I’m now determined that I need to accelerate my partial retirement.
I Need to Make the Most of the Rest of THIS Summer
I thought of the things I wanted to do this summer and decided I’m going to make that a priority and make it happen, even if I do have to give up some work and income. After all, at the end of the summer, will I be happier with a little more cash, or because I made memories that will last a lifetime?
Tomorrow Isn’t Guaranteed
The bottom line is that none of us have a lot of time. It’s a cliché, but tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. There has to be a good country song about this out there.
So make time for things you’ve dreamed of, live a little more in the moment, and don’t get so caught up in making money for your future that you miss what’s happening now. There’s a balance somewhere there, and if you don’t take the time to analyze where you’re at, you might be way off.
How are you making sure that you’re making the most out of the summers you have left?
Great piece. Great piece. I also am actively cutting back – no extra clinics during service weeks, capping my Friday clinics at 1:30pm, etc. I plan to keep adjusting so I literally bring no work home. Yes, I will make less money but in return I will MAKE more time….and you just can’t put an RVU to that! It is a literally hard to do at first as our current model can very quickly make you a RVU junkie. At some point it isn’t even about the money, just trying to keep hitting those RVUs those pesky administrators email you every month. After awhile you kind of realize – “what is the point?” They have running this treadmill and the little more RVUs you make, the WAY more money the hospital makes. So they keep sending you your RVUS, know these Type A physicians will keep trying to reach higher and higher. NO MORE for me….I am going to strike the right balance and will no longer obsess about my RVUS.
Forty is supposed to just be another number, but I think that there is something to it. I had a similar “stop and reflect on how I spend my time” session at that age. It was on a summer trip with my family – I realized that my kids were growing up fast and that I may not get many more summers with them off of school. We have been traveling together for 6 weeks/yr (four in the summer) since. I also scaled back my work-hours by about 25%. Partially to accommodate more time with family, but also because something happened to my body at forty where I couldn’t work incessantly like “a machine” anymore without consequences. I would say like “The Terminator”, but I am an intensivist and that would probably give the wrong impression.
I should mention, on a serious note, that as an intensivist, that I do frequently have the priviledge or working with many patients/families around the time of death. Some are tragic and some are simply the closure of a life well-lived. The frequency of this in my practice has caused me to reflect on it a lot.
Two lessons that I have taken from that: 1) You really don’t know how long you have because bad stuff can happen out of nowhere – balance saving for the future with living for today. 2) It is common and helpful for families to reminisce with our team about memories of their passing loved one. They never gush about how much money they made or how hard they worked. They laugh over funny stories or express their gratitude for what they learned from their loved one or the emotional support that they received from them.
As I have aged and started seeing more patients my own age or younger in this situation, the stronger an influence these thoughts have on my priorities.
-LD
Great comment,
From another intensivist here. A large part of our jobs is treating families and helping them through the dying process.
I recently took on some admin responsibilities and the way it worked out I basically had the entire month of July off. From going to the beach, coaching summer baseball (finally got my son’s swing looking good), and swimming every day it really made me think how do I keep this going.
Time to really think about scaling down to 75-80% effort.
Great article. My father died when I was young and I recently passed the age that he was when he died. That really had me thinking about concentrating on living and not earning. I paid down my debt with some real estate sales and stopped buying new investments.
We have 4 children and two are in diapers so traveling is not fun and we live near all our family. I didn’t make that list that you suggest. I wound up posting on forums and doing a lot more internet reading.
Then one day I received a call about a real estate investment. Within 4 weeks I had bought 6 properties and then went right back into debt to buy more. I realized, I love investing and stress. Making that deal that’s going to bring next 100k profit puts me in a euphoric state. I was going through withdrawals.
I’m going to make the list that you mentioned. Near the top I’m going to have my favorite pass time, finding that next great investment.
P. S. I’m such a lucky person to enjoy making profit more than spending money. Honestly, I wish I enjoyed spending money as much as the masses.
I turned 54 in April. No male in my extended family has ever lived past 80. A lot of them smoked. I don’t. Few of them were as active as I am. I am 6’4″ tall and weigh 193#. I have planned around the idea of living to age 80-85. Having run a geriatric psychiatry unit for 11 years, I’m unimpressed with the years from 80-90 in a population sample, although anecdotally, everyone knows a few thriving 80-90 year olds. I figure I have about 15 to 20 “intact and able” summers left (from age 55 to 75).
This year, plantar fasciitis and a reactivation of a old back injury (I was assaulted by a patient in 2011) knocked out of 2/3 of my summer triathlon season and my yearly ten-mile road race in August. I’m likely to do the 5K instead. I also had to make a concerted three month effort to go from a post-winter 205# back down to under 193#. The difference from when I was 40 is noticeable. My half-mile swim is slower by a minute. My sprint triathlon time is slower by about 8 minutes. My ten-mile run is slower by 1:30 per mile. Still, I am very lucky to mostly be able to do whatever I want (barring injuries which are easier to come by).
I have just inked a 2 year deal to finish my career on a high note as the Medical Director of the local Community Mental Health center where I will endeavor to integrate primary care with mental health care and bring nutrition, exercise and mindfulness meditation to the anxious masses. I’ll be done with full time work at about age 57 and can then take a walk on the Camino de Santiago and hike often with the family in the Tennessee and North Carolina mountains. I hope it works as planned.
When this topic comes up (functional longevity), I always tell people I want to collect as much social security and pension monies as I can, so I eat fairly well, exercise, and avoid most longevity killers. By retiring from medicine in my mid to late fifties, I’ll have knocked off the biggest source of stress of all. I only know a handful of psychiatrists that “made it out alive and intact”. I actually know more who were disabled by an MI, stroke, or just plain died. If I’m going to die on a Monday morning, I’d rather it was at the top of a mountain.
I’ve been telling my husband this for a long time, but now that he has been reading your blog religiously, he thinks it is a fabulous idea! Thanks for inspiring him to make some changes!
It’s a great piece isn’t it?
It is tough to discuss mortality. As humans we don’t like contemplating how much time we have left but it is a sad fact of life that every day we march closer to the end.
The last segment (Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed) especially rang true for me. My father was a physician who worked really hard but at age 50 was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died 6 months later (I was 14). I know he was planning to enjoy a long retirement and never got that chance.
So the key take home is to live live in moderation and balance current happiness and future happiness. It makes no sense to be so frugal today that you are miserable and then die before you can enjoy that wealth. Conversely it makes no sense to be hedonistic today and then be forced to live a long life dependent on government programs only.
Agree – we take several family vacations per year – husband and I go to the gym 3 times a week and eat tons of vegetables ?♀️And take cycling excursions. Do we get enough sleep? Most nights but not all. It’s a trade off for sure. There is definitely an upside to having a large income and we cannot predict our date of death.
Your life span is actually longer than 78.7 since that’s life expectancy at birth and you’re already 40. Plus, college educated people have a longer life expectancy so that’s another boost you have. Still, your overall point is well taken!
Agreed.
Just curious, you mentioned you want to meditate more. As a young physician who has been meditating for the past 15+ years, I think a lot about everything you said, and about how to bring meditation and this overall life perspective to physicians and busy professionals in a way that is modern, relevant and accessible.
What would be most helpful for you to get a consistent meditation or contemplation practice going? What kind of platform, resources, or guidance would be most helpful to you or other physicians? What are the barriers that are stopping you from doing it?
It’s nice to be reminded of the value of family and experiences. We’re still young (35 and 36) with 2 daughters (2yo and 4yo) and $500,000 in student loan debt and considering a trip to Maine next summer for a family reunion. I haven’t seen my extended family in 9 years, often declining weddings and reunions using a resident’s schedule and salary as excuses. My initial thought was absolutely not, not until this debt is paid off.
I might have less hesitation if we had positive net worth. As you said, “tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.” It’s important to me that there my family has exciting memories in the event of a tragedy. We could take the trip, reunite with family, check Maine and Acadia off of our bucket list and have an amazing week. Or we could use that money to pay off loans one month early.
I’m interested to hear what this community recommends. For the more experienced parents out there, would you choose a family vacation over financial security if given the change again? Should we stay put and put our finances before family? (Greater than 60% of gross income goes towards loans and income is going to increase with more moonlighting. Loans should be paid off in 5 years or less)
Find a balance. If you’re sending 60% of gross toward building wealth you’re going to be fine. Splurge a little. You’re clearly on the far right side of this bell curve.
Are you doing everything correctly at this phase? Emergency fund and life/disability insurance? If you are looking at two physician salaries and live like residents for a few years out you will be fine. As long as you are covered for the bad events go on a trip. One side note your 2 year old will most likely not remember the trip but your 4 year old might. If it is a trip you really want to make memorable from the kid perspective hold off a couple of years. But for extended family they should get to see them at this age when they are so cute. Mine are 9, 5 and 2. It goes by fast enjoy!!!! We did Disney at 3 with our first. He played in the dirt only remembers the story of how when he walked into the hotel room he asked us “we are not living here are we?” 1970’s pirate ship beds with a musty smell.
Couple years later we went to visit family and used miles to stay at the Ritz. He walked in and first thing he said, “I like this!” Still talks about the all you can eat fruit loops.
We will still be able to retire at 52-55 if we want. Currently 45 and 42. One trip won’t change how you end up as long as you don’t choose the trip over insurance and the critical stuff.
Great post, it’s important to look at things this way from time to time. Exercise and a healthy diet can indeed increase your chances of seeing more summers, and that’s my strategy