Mercedes Hall
Unknown caller—area code 208—Idaho Falls. On the other end of the line was my uncle informing me that my father had taken his own life. I was 16 when my father lost his lifelong battle with alcoholism and depression. This was less than three years after my mother succumbed to substance abuse and died in prison due to terminal liver failure. Becoming an orphan was the final shock of my tumultuous childhood. Sterile ICU wards, guarded visitation cells, and my father’s riverbank tent were the sites of many salient memories with my parents. Although unconventional, the poverty and instability of my childhood were not what affected me most deeply; it was witnessing the chronic erosion of my parents' dignity.
Mercedes Hall
Raised in a low-income and undereducated rural community, I am sensitive to the breadth of barriers preventing access to healthcare, particularly addiction and mental health services. I grieve my father who lost his battle with depression and mourn his inability to access health interventions.
Unable to afford or access adequate care, I became a caretaker early in life to support my ill mother. As a young girl, I reminded her of bill payments and appointments, helped her bathe, and administered her medications. I grew up quickly, but I learned to care for myself and others and prioritize safety in decision-making.
Much of my childhood emphasized survival as I witnessed my parents' deteriorating health and substance abuse rebounds. Born from the loss of those who I loved most deeply and whose lives felt unmanageable, I desire a future for myself where I can protect others in ways that I was unable to for my parents. My anguish enabled me to recognize suffering in others and shaped me into a gentle-mannered, perceptive, and personable individual. Grief readied me with the language and wisdom to discuss tragedy and loss with sensitivity and insight.
I regard medicine as a practice that reaches beyond remedying symptoms; medicine is a conduit for bodily autonomy and self-actualization. Reaffirmed during my own experiences with death and loss, I feel purposefully drawn to health education and promoting a high quality of life for patients. Comfort, dignity, and integrity must play a role in the decision-making of a patient’s care. I am committed to protecting the right of patients to maintain autonomy over their lives and health.
The circumstances of my upbringing continue to have a resounding influence on my life philosophies and decision-making and the ways I consider others. Regularly making important safety and health judgments for myself and my parents made me level-headed in moments of intensity or stress. I was still in grade school when I had to determine whether my mother’s encephalopathy attacks or both parents’ drunken stupors could be managed by me alone or when professional intervention was necessary for all of our safety. I mastered the balance between subjectivity and sentiment with the need for logic and reasoning. I trust my decisions, and I am inclined to advocate for myself and others.
With deficient resources, deterioration of social networks, and insufficient health education, I witnessed my parent's health and dignity erode over the years. Their lives and struggles introduced me to the complexities of the human condition. They demonstrated the impact of insurmountable barriers to care and the loss of control over their lives. The uniqueness of my young life equipped me with discretion, discernment, and empathy. Protecting and caring for my parents as they faced many challenges ingrained in me a resounding sympathy for the struggles of others. I have coped with housing insecurity, navigated financial instability, and witnessed the social isolation of addiction; with this knowledge, I can individualize my patient care approach, sensitive to the added difficulty of achieving health when combatting adversity and being unable to meet one’s basic needs.
As a strong proponent of patient autonomy and sensitivity to social barriers to care, I am motivated to pursue medicine and develop an education-centered practice. I am passionate about promoting patient dignity, self-sufficiency, and empowerment. While working in healthcare I have witnessed the benefit of early health intervention and recognized the limits of single-approach treatment. Through primary care, there is an invaluable opportunity to examine social determinants of health and address gaps in health education within communities; among these, the sociocultural factors influencing health choices. Further, primary care offers the flexibility to integrate educational interventions into standard practice.
As a physician, I would incorporate nutrition education and mental health discussions into my practice, addressing what I recognize as two of the most urgent public health concerns affecting society today. My innate sensitivity, resiliency, and testimony to living and dying with dignity are the foundations of my future success as an insightful and effective physician. As I witnessed with my parents, to lose one’s dignity is a tragedy and I will do my best to prevent this for my patients. I am dedicated to advocating for them, bridging the gap between social support and medicine, and protecting all patients' rights to live and die with dignity.