[AUTHOR’S NOTE: This article reflects my experience fostering a child in northern Nevada. Policies, stipends, and support services vary widely by state and even by county, so prospective foster parents should confirm details locally. Discussing finances is not meant to reduce foster care to dollars and cents but to help families realistically assess what they can sustainably provide.]
In 2020, my husband and I began exploring parenthood. With the help of a local fertility doctor, we discussed sperm banks, egg banks, surrogacy, and IVF. We were quoted approximately $50,000 just to create an embryo.
After many long discussions, we realized something important: neither of us really wanted a baby. We were both working full-time, and I was on call every third week for seven days and nights in a row. The idea of adding more sleep deprivation felt overwhelming. Instead of creating a new child through fertility treatment, we wondered whether we could provide a home for a child who already existed—and needed a home. That curiosity led us to foster care.
How to Become a Foster Parent: Requirements and Training
In Reno, Nevada, the foster care system is run by our county’s Human Services Agency. Foster care systems across the country may be county-run, state-administered, or a hybrid of both.
The Human Services Agency conducted an initial interview with us, asking about our backgrounds, our jobs, and our overall stability. We completed background checks, and we were required to provide financial documentation (requirements vary by jurisdiction), such as proof of income or a recent tax return, as required by our county. Financial sustainability matters because instability—financial or otherwise—ultimately affects the child’s sense of safety.
We were then enrolled in a free, three-month course called TIPS: Trauma Informed Partnering for Safety. One message was consistent throughout the training: the vast majority of children in the foster system have experienced trauma—physical, emotional, or both—including the trauma of separation itself. Even infants can experience trauma when subjected to abuse, neglect, or sudden separation from caregivers. This framing was emphasized repeatedly during our training and is widely used in child welfare, even when children appear outwardly resilient.
Before this course, I mistakenly assumed that many children entered foster care because of the untimely death of a parent. In reality, most children are removed from their homes due to substantiated concerns of abuse or neglect. Another key lesson was that the primary goal of foster care is reunification. If a biological parent (or another biological relative) can safely resume (or assume) care of the child, that outcome is prioritized.
The “partnering” aspect of Trauma Informed Partnering for Safety refers to learning how to co-parent with biological families, case managers, and social workers in service of reunification. While foster parents provide day-to-day care, the legal guardian of a child in foster care is the county, acting through its social workers.
Some children, unfortunately, have no realistic path to reunification, often following a “termination of parental rights.” Many of these children are older—pre-teens or teenagers—and a significant number will age out of the foster system at age 18 without being adopted. After completing the course, my husband and I offered to foster an older child in their teenage years.
Before placement, a social worker from the Human Services Agency inspected our home. We needed to demonstrate a furnished bedroom and bathroom. We already had a guest room that could be converted into a teenager’s bedroom, but this could represent a meaningful upfront expense for others—especially if specialized furniture is required, such as cribs, changing tables, or bunk beds for multiple children.
More information here:
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Foster Care Costs and Ongoing Support
Monthly Stipends and Typical Expenses
While a child lives with foster parents, the county typically provides a monthly stipend. If the child moves in (or moves out) in the middle of the month, the stipend is prorated. This money is intended to offset the day-to-day costs of raising a child, including food, clothing, personal care items, and school supplies. The stipend is not meant to generate income, and for many families, it does not fully cover costs.
Under Internal Revenue Code Section 131, “qualified foster care payments” are excluded from taxable income if all of the following apply:
- Payments are made by a state, a political subdivision of a state, or a qualified foster care agency.
- The child is placed by one of those agencies.
- Care is provided in the foster care parent’s home.
- Any “difficulty of care” payments are specifically designated as such by the payor.
In our case, we fostered a teenager. Teenagers can eat a lot, outgrow clothes quickly, and have higher overall expenses. We often spent more on his care than we received in stipend payments.
Stipends vary by age, number of children, and location. For example, Virginia has published the following monthly stipends:
- Ages 0-4: $580
- Ages 5-12: $677
- Ages 13+: $861
Our payment in Nevada was slightly lower, and I think it was a fair amount to cover the costs of food, clothing, transportation, and occasional gifts, such as a new scooter or bicycle. Stipend amounts often reflect historical budgets and legislative priorities, and they may not be indexed to the local cost of living.
Schooling
To minimize disruptions, foster systems attempt, whenever possible, to keep children in their existing schools, usually the local public school. What counts as “local” varies. Children who have experienced multiple placements may also experience multiple school changes. However, changing school systems often requires court approval, and many variables (siblings, special teacher bonds, etc.) go into the judge’s decision to support moving school districts.
When he moved in, our foster child was enrolled in a school 15 miles away (four high school zones from our home), and there was no school bus route available. During the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, remote learning temporarily spared us that commute. When the school year changed and he transferred to our local district with the blessing of the family court judge, the logistical burden eased considerably.
Many children in the foster system are classified as having special needs, and they have Individual Education Programs (IEPs). These are typically coordinated by the school district in collaboration with social workers, and in some counties, education liaisons or court-appointed advocates might also be involved. As foster parents, we were invited to participate in meetings with guidance counselors and school staff, and our input was valued. However, the social worker, acting as legal guardian, ultimately made decisions about the IEP.
Extracurriculars and Hobbies
Our foster child was already enrolled in extracurricular activities, some of which required in-person attendance even while school was remote. This meant frequent transportation across town—sometimes early in the morning, sometimes in the middle of the workday. We were fortunate that some activities occurred before my clinic day began and that my husband’s job allowed partial remote work. Even so, maintaining music and athletic hobbies required substantial time and coordination. Like biological parenting, foster parenting does not come with a driver or errand runner.
In our county, there was no mileage reimbursement; transportation costs were considered part of the monthly stipend. Other jurisdictions might reimburse mileage or provide transportation support. Beyond fuel and vehicle wear, these obligations can also result in lost wages or reduced productivity—particularly for physicians with rigid schedules. Larger cities might offer better public transportation or carpool networks, but those options were limited in our area.
Medical Care
Most children in foster care are covered by their state’s Medicaid program. The quality of coverage varies by state; in our case, it worked well. Our foster child already had established physicians who accepted his Medicaid, and continuity of care was maintained. We were lucky. Many foster families might be faced with a situation where they are trying to get specialized medical care and struggle to find a specialist who accepts state Medicaid, which could lead to paying out of pocket or foregoing specialty care for some time.
Many children in foster care have mental health diagnoses such as PTSD, anxiety, reactive attachment disorder, or ADHD. One unexpected benefit of the COVID era was the rapid expansion of telemedicine, particularly tele-psychiatry, which made it easier to maintain continuity of mental health care.
The child’s social worker visited our home monthly to provide emotional support and conduct brief counseling sessions. Our county also offered in-home family counseling if needed. General medical care was provided by our local university health system, staffed by family medicine residents and attendings who already knew the child well.
Court Obligations
Because reunification with the biological family is often the goal, foster parents must also interact with the legal system. While the county covers legal fees, foster parents are responsible for ensuring children attend required court appearances, supervised visits, or family meetings.
During our placement, court proceedings occurred virtually. Even so, when attendance was required, it was non-negotiable. There were times I had to cancel 30-60 minutes of clinic to attend hearings. While these obligations don’t carry a direct financial cost, they can indirectly reduce income for professionals with inflexible schedules. In-person court appearances might require even more time due to travel and delays.
Community Grants and Support
One pleasant surprise was the generosity of the community. Several times a year, donations to the Human Services Agency funded grants for foster children. A back-to-school grant allowed children to select clothing and school supplies up to a set amount, often around $200. In December, a holiday grant of approximately $300 per child helped ensure that every foster child received gifts.
There were other smaller community events, like summer picnics, weekend pizza, or movie nights. Our foster teenager suggested that these gatherings were more helpful for children living in group homes, so we rarely attended. These grants and programs are highly county-dependent and might not exist everywhere.
College Scholarships
Our foster child was not yet focused on college, but the county was thinking ahead. Children in our foster system were eligible for generous tuition waivers and supplemental support programs at the local university. These benefits reduced—but did not necessarily eliminate—the total cost of attendance. I do not know how common this benefit is nationally; eligibility criteria, duration, and covered expenses likely vary widely by state and institution. But, where available, this assistance could represent a meaningful long-term financial boost for foster children and parents.
Foster to Adopt
If they wish, foster parents can choose to adopt the child they are fostering. But becoming a foster parent does not obligate someone to adopt. Adoption is only possible if a child is legally available for adoption and reunification is no longer expected.
The financial implications of adoption vary. If the child is classified as having special needs, adoptive parents might continue to receive a monthly stipend from the county/state until the child turns 18. In the context of foster care, “special needs” is a legal term, and in many states, age alone is sufficient to qualify a child as having “special needs,” even in the absence of medical complexity. For example, 3 or older in California or 6 or older in Nevada qualifies children as special needs. This designation reflects adoption policy rather than a medical diagnosis. The term is often confusing for adoptive families unfamiliar with its legal meaning.
The child might remain eligible for Medicaid or transition to an adoptive parent’s employer-sponsored insurance, potentially increasing payroll deductions. Adoption is considered a Qualifying Life Event, requiring coordination with HR to update benefits enrollment, dependent status, beneficiary designations, and W-4 tax withholding.
More information here:
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How Foster Placements End
Foster placements might end with reunification, placement with a biological relative, adoption, or a child aging out of the system. Outcomes are often unpredictable.
Due to unforeseen and extenuating circumstances beyond our control, our placement ended a little less than one year after it began. It was unexpected and heartbreaking. The emotional toll was significant enough that, after many hours of reflection and self-work, my husband and I decided we could not go through it again. We believe that we provided that child with a safe, stable home for the time he was with us.
The Bottom Line on Becoming a Foster Parent
Just like biological parenting, foster parenting is hard work. It is a unique role that requires functioning as a caregiver, mentor, and partner with social workers, the legal system, and biological families.
The rewards of being a foster parent are not financial. They come from providing stability, safety, and care to a child during a vulnerable chapter of their life, even if that chapter is temporary. This discussion of financial and logistical challenges is not meant to discourage fostering but to help families enter it with realistic expectations. For families who are emotionally prepared and financially stable, foster care can be profoundly meaningful. As with any major life decision, clarity around finances and time commitments makes better outcomes more likely—for both families and children.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: For this column, Adam Safdi donated his writer's fee to the Washoe CASA Foundation.]
Have you ever fostered a child? What was your experience like? If not, would you ever consider it? How much would costs (financial, emotional, logistical) play a factor in your decision?