Neel Patel
It was the first day of school with my newly expanded family. As I knocked on all three bathroom doors in the house, each one was occupied. Returning to my room, I found the door locked. “Give me a few minutes!” my cousin shouted from inside. The kitchen was crowded with my grandma, mom, and aunts. One of my cousins was still asleep in the family room. Standing in the hallway, I suddenly realized this was my new reality.
Neel Patel
My childhood had never been quiet, but the arrival of my father’s extended family from India marked a profound change. At the start of sixth grade, my father had informed me that his family would be immigrating to live with us. I did not understand the impact of this announcement until the day they arrived. Our once modest three-bedroom ranch house was now home to 14 people: my father’s parents, his two brothers, their wives, and their combined four children. Overnight, our household had transformed from six to 14 residents squeezing into our snug space.
My parents, both working blue-collar jobs, faced immense challenges adjusting to this new reality. I noticed that my mom picked up additional shifts while my father began working on weekends to earn more money. I began to share my clothes with my younger cousin and a bedroom with my brother and two cousins. We ate meals on the floor due to the lack of space around the kitchen table. To this day, I’m still amazed at how my mom managed to cook for 14 people. During holidays and birthdays, my parents redirected their savings toward elaborate dinners for everyone instead of buying gifts for my brother and me. I was astounded by their ability to keep a roof over our heads and to ensure we were fed.
Eventually, I asked my father how we could possibly continue living with so many people. He explained that he needed to help his family get on their feet before they could live independently. “I know this is hard for you and your brother,” he said, “but we need to support our family.” While I felt my privacy and freedom slipping away, I had little understanding of the tremendous financial burden and sacrifice my father had shouldered in bringing his family to the United States.
Over time, my cousins became some of my closest friends. After getting ready in the morning for school, which still remained a great feat, we would walk to the bus stop together and wait for each other after school. I looked forward to our evenings at the park where we formed our own basketball team. As we became closer, I found myself learning to stretch every dollar so I could help support my family. Every scrap of fabric I found, I gave to my grandparents who used it to fix something around the house, especially their garden. I helped in the kitchen, becoming a chopping expert, and I would bike to sports practices to help save on gas.
When my cousins moved out of our house toward the end of high school, I felt a void. However, we all shared a common goal: attending college.
My father often emphasized the importance of higher education for future success. Even after my cousins had moved out, they frequently visited to discuss college costs and complete FAFSA applications with my dad. After hearing these conversations with my older cousin and brother, my father helped me gradually educate myself about the financial realities of attending college. I gained insight into the exorbitant costs of a college education as well as the importance of applying for scholarships and finding a job during college.
I came to deeply appreciate my father's commitment to supporting all four of us through college. Despite knowing money was tight, I discovered that my parents had been diligently saving to make this possible. They avoided buying new furniture, sought out used cars, and refrained from dining out. Through securing financial aid for my cousins and navigating reasonable loans, my parents managed to fund our college education. As a result of their dedication, I am now in medical school, my brother and older cousin are engineers, and the younger one is preparing for the MCAT with hopes of attending medical school. The decisions my parents made have not only benefited our immediate family but also positioned us to support our future families one day.
Now, as a medical student, I deeply appreciate the sacrifices my parents made to lay the groundwork for me to become the first doctor in our family. Their meticulous budgeting enabled my father’s brothers to purchase their own homes and ensured that all my cousins could attend college. I admire my father’s decision to sponsor his family, and I am inspired by how he accomplished it all. Though I did not fully grasp it as a child, I have learned the importance of supporting family unconditionally. Additionally, I have adopted prudent budgeting habits that help me manage medical school debt, such as saving for emergencies and cooking most of my meals.
I feel comforted knowing that, if necessary, I could support my family, whether it is four people or 14—just as my parents did for us.