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  • Avatar mapplebum 
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    Before this it was investing in pot stocks. I thought they were joking so I made some comments about the ridiculousness of doing so. So I already burned my one time unsolicited advice card.
    They are probably better off with Florida real estate then pot stocks right?

    Click to expand…

    Um, no, I wouldn’t say that at all.

     

    Where in FL is this? And also, were they suggesting VRBO type rentals or FT?

    in reply to: FL retirement communities #245456 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    Husband used to see post-ops most Saturdays but maybe he’s operating on Thursdays now? Not sure. Realizing as I type this that he’s not been going in on weekends nearly as much as he used to…hm….

    Sundays are a long work day for me so if there’s any cooking / cleaning / errands today is usually the day. I used to do the Saturday morning partner WOD at CrossFit but now I’m on a focused lifting program so today I biked to the powerlifting gym and lifted some heavy #$& with a friend. When I got home our neighborhood / CrossFit friends had brought over lunch so we sat outside while I ate leftovers. Tonight I’m going out with colleagues, I think husband might be doing whiskey night with the boys. In all likelihood a fire will be involved.

    It’s 4pm, the house is clean, I’m about to start getting ready while he’s watching videos (if I could take a guess probably of surgery, Tool, or animal attacks) on the couch.  I know I should feel like something is missing without kids but man is life good.

     

    in reply to: Saturdays #244578 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    I guess you’d need facebook to be able to answer this question . . . Or a good memory, I can’t remember what # I graduated, maybe 7?

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    I almost pulled out my year book. Resisted. 🙂

    in reply to: Where they are now! WCI Forum edition! #243729 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    LOL this is no fun unless you actually find out where the top 5 are (easy for me to say when all 5 are still on FB)

     

    #1 robotics engineer

    #2 stay at home mom (sister)

    #3 teacher at top 3 HS in the world (who knew those existed? She did)

    #4 WCI forum aficionado (skipped 12th grade sister not happy)

    #5 marketing manager big business

    in reply to: Where they are now! WCI Forum edition! #243684 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    The issue though is figuring out if you’re the master of the universe type at age 18. 

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    I agree that it is hard to predict these things in high school.  I went to a small high school but of the top 5 people I graduated with there is not much to be impressed with.  1 social worker, 1 engineer, 1 cop, 1 blogger, and a lawyer.  I was several pages down the list.

    Bet you cannot guess which one was the valedictorian.

    Click to expand…

    Oo what a great idea for a new thread “Where are they now / Who’s making the big bucks?” what the top 5 in your HS class did with their lives. Doooo itttt.

    in reply to: Public vs Private College #243654 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    I’m from the Carolinas.  I’m not sure of a worse place weather-wise to be than Columbia in the summer, and that includes Phoenix.  Absolutely hellacious heat and humidity.

    If I were looking in that greater area, I’d choose any of Charlotte, RDU, Greensboro, Winston-Salem, Asheville, Greenville/Spartanburg, Charleston, Atlanta, Savannah, Athens, Knoxville, Chattanooga, and Augusta over Columbia.

    I’m not too sure at all what is guiding your location search aside from a desire for warmer weather.

     

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    I’d agree with this list but still can’t believe that Greenville SC has become a “pretty cool place” (as friends have described). Memories of BJU summer camp are forever imprinted.

     

    It’s been awhile since I was there but I always found Roanoka VA to be absolutely beautiful. Somewhat depressed, but the outdoors made up for it. McCafee’s Knob and Dragon’s Tooth were some of the best hikes of my life.

    Not sure what size town OP is looking for but Wilmington NC seems like a lovely place to raise a family. Maybe not this week, but in general…

    in reply to: california_dreamin'……maybe #243381 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    New here.  But I’ve broken down my formula for (personal) happiness to the following:

    Relationships + Health + Financial Security = Contentment

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    I’d add community/professional engagement to that and call it a winner. Welcome!

    in reply to: Success and Happiness #242816 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    Here’s a crude analogy, and on purpose. Weightlifting. You can get a gym membership, fall down youtube rabbit holes watching top lifters, interviews, buy the books, learn how to say “hypertrophy” correctly, but it takes an expert in the room to call you out when you’re compensating and how. Sure, there are fantastic apps that turn you into your own @hookgrip but having someone in the room to watch a lift, give anywhere between 1-5 criticisms, watch again, criticize, watch again…you get my point. Which is, you don’t know what you don’t know until an expert calls attention to it. You just can’t get that from youtube. There are always exceptions, but for must of us, in order to become good at anything we need a team of experts guiding us. 

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    🙂 I’ve been lifting weights since I was 13 yo. I’ve never had a coach and there were no youtube videos in 1972. It’s intuitive.

    I could learn biology, chemistry, physics, and mathematics by reading textbooks, but I did take one English composition course and the professor did sharpen my writing skills. I wouldn’t have made the same progress in the same time without that criticism. I might value classroom experience more if I had been a liberal arts major.

    Beyond that, the classroom can be fun. I attended the U of Chicago Booth School of Business in my 40s because I was interested in the subject matter. Unlike college, I attended every class, paid rapt attention, kept up with every assignment, and never crammed for a test. The professors there were comparable to the profs at my med school (even if the average student was not) and I enjoyed my time there, even though I could have learned the same material from a text.

    I spent $60k/year and consider it money well spent, even though I didn’t monetize the degree. On the other hand, if you want to be an investment banker then Booth is one of the best places to be and the degree will pay for itself.

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    weightlifting not lifting weights 😉

    in reply to: Public vs Private College #242188 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    Except being a nobel prize winner says nothing about your teaching ability, just like the most knowledgeable attendings are often not the best teachers or most personable.

    You’re making a false equivalence and saying the teaching is better at liberal arts or private schools. There’s little objective data to support that.

    Not to mention fact that most students in both undergrad and grad school teach themselves with books, TAs run labs and practicums. The profs do little to nothing except drivel on about their research no one cares about and draw the same notes on the board they have for 20 years.

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    and you’re making statements based on personal experience. I only took one class with a TA so there’s my experience.

     

    I can see why you’re confused but I was referring to all the comments about “viable” degrees, not liberal arts colleges.

     

    Also, I would love to take a class with a Nobel Prize winner, even if they never speak on topic. It’s about the process. The content is important but like you said, that can be learned in a text.

    in reply to: Public vs Private College #242153 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    Strange, those who disparage liberal arts degrees seem to be the very same people who say higher education is a transaction. Both my college and graduate level experiences can be summed up by the same process: lecture, study, task (paper, projects etc), criticism, revision, more criticism, more revision and on and on until a grade was produced. If you want to call that a transaction, I mean, I guess. But I get the sense some of you did not experience this kind of engagement. Aside from CONTENT the process is about growing accustomed to an expert shining a light on your inadequacies. It teaches you to acknowledge your blindspots, learn from your ignorance / mistakes, and correct them within whatever system the professor deems.

    Here’s a crude analogy, and on purpose. Weightlifting. You can get a gym membership, fall down youtube rabbit holes watching top lifters, interviews, buy the books, learn how to say “hypertrophy” correctly, but it takes an expert in the room to call you out when you’re compensating and how. Sure, there are fantastic apps that turn you into your own @hookgrip but having someone in the room to watch a lift, give anywhere between 1-5 criticisms, watch again, criticize, watch again…you get my point. Which is, you don’t know what you don’t know until an expert calls attention to it. You just can’t get that from youtube. There are always exceptions, but for must of us, in order to become good at anything we need a team of experts guiding us.

    For me, and for my students, that’s higher ed. The hope is by the end they have critical thinking skills and are able to problem solve on their own. The reality is IF that happens it’s usually in graduate school.

     

     

    in reply to: Public vs Private College #242137 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    I’ll leave my argument as this: I prefer to ride outside. At least I utilize my VHCOL area to be outside?

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    My only question is where do you keep all of that gear???

    in reply to: Fatlittlepig takes on the Peloton #242099 Reply
    Liked by Zaphod, danesgod
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    I tried to make this distinction and it seems others are as well so I’ll rephrase. Let’s compare some numbers

     

    Williams $53k.
    Population 2k.
    Average SAT 1468.
    Acceptance rate 17%

    Scripps College $50k
    Population 1k.
    Average SAT 1384
    Acceptance rate 30%

    Regional College, $45k.
    Population 3k.
    Average SAT 1140
    Acceptance rate 70%.

    Gordon College $36k
    Population 2k
    Average SAT 1168
    Acceptance Rate 92%

    *Regional college is where I taught. It has similar numbers to my current institution just more expensive

    When debating if the instruction is superior at a small liberal arts college I daresay it matters which school you’re discussing. Schools that accept broadly simply cannot have rigorous curriculum and we all know once a student is enrolled it takes a lot to get kicked out. Departments are rewarded for graduating students. This little exercise is fun so now I’ll look at larger schools.

     

    Harvard $47k.
    Population 22k.
    Average SAT, 1520.
    Acceptance rate 5%

    MIT 48K
    Population 11k
    Average SAT, 1528
    Acceptance rate 8%

    UCLA $13k, $40k
    Population 45k
    Average SAT, 1365
    Acceptance rate, 18%

    University of Michigan $15k, $45k
    Population 45k
    Average SAT, 1415
    Acceptance rate 28%

    University of North Carolina Greensboro 7k, 22k
    Population 19k
    Average SAT 1105
    Acceptance rate 73%

    University of Toledo $9k, $19k
    Population 20k
    Average SAT 1130
    Acceptance rate 96%

    No real point to including larger schools but v. interesting.

    in reply to: Public vs Private College #241301 Reply
    Liked by Kamban, Tim
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    I’ve told my kids that if they are pursuing a STEM degree from an elite college that we’ll pay for it, otherwise they’ll go to the state school of their choice that offers them in-state tuition.

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    What, no degree in basket weaving or critical studies from an overpriced, not terribly selective liberal arts school at $60K+ per year in tuition plus housing in a high cost of living / very high cost of living location?

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    I believe the degree is Underwater Basket Weaving.

     

    I’ve taught at 3 different private universities / colleges, all regionally known though not prestigious. I am of the opinion that students by and large receive a superior education from larger schools. Not only are private colleges more expensive, most faculty are part time / adjunct, therefore do not have an intimate knowledge of the inner workings of their department, and simply are not held accountable as they are at larger schools. My favorite story is of the student who came to her professor asking what grade had so she could know what to aim for on her final. Nothing was up on the online grading system. The professor’s words were “Karen, you know I’m not good at that.” As in, grading assignments from the semester. She kept pushing it and ultimately he graded a fraction of the assignments and attributed them to her total grade. I’ve heard so many stories like this over the years I take every opportunity to encourage students to attend cheaper public schools.

    I have no doubt bigger name small schools like Wellesley are of a different ilk.

    in reply to: Public vs Private College #240406 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    And ‘gratitude’ cannot be ‘cultivated’ unless there is a personification of ultimate reality to be grateful to, and a profound sense of the depth of the gifts you have received, not just in the accidents of life such as your wealth or your family, but in your very substance as a human being who has intelligence, will, and the capacity to love. It is a uniquely human ability to confront death and to sense that there is something beyond it. Of course, if your scientistic superstition is that thought comes from meat, or that no meaning inheres in the universe, then you will have a hard time understanding any of this.

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    You can take it there but mine was in a purely humanistic sense. The perspective is that the universe is both beautiful and cruel, and so far as we can tell humans are the only creatures who make such judgments. What do we know? That things are born and then they die. The flaw, which is deeply ingrained in Western culture, is the idea that birth is joy and death is sorrow (the workaround being a belief in redemption, after life, and higher beings). The fact is, we can “cultivate gratitude” for both: what brings joy (or happiness or contentment) and what bring sorrow (or discontentment). Purely because it is lived experience, because we are capable of feeling and processing it, and because our time on earth is limited.

    My personal experience dictates that most discontentment or unhappiness can lead to personal growth. In most situations we can, shall we say, turn a thorn into a sword. But some things, usually personal tragedy or loss, are insurmountable. They will never be fixed. It will never cease to be broken. You would be better off had it never happened. In that case it is helpful to recognize that we need not only be grateful for the things that bring us joy. We can be grateful for all things simply on the basis that it makes up the kaleidoscope of our finite existence.

    in reply to: The Happiness Curve #240387 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    Am I missing something here? (Maybe because I had an unhappy childhood) I just don’t understand the assumption that we deserve to be happy. Like it’s a right given to us at birth. I consider myself very fortunate, as I’m sure many on here do / should too, but that next step of thinking I deserve it, or that it’s owed to me, is a place I’m not willing to go. Suffer your way to wisdom, right? Is it that many in their 40’s are finally beginning to address their own mortality? The youtube shared was good but it still boils down to everything we’ve heard before. The safest path, clearly targeting a specific audience: obtain higher degrees, create stability through family, eat well, exercise, and avoid addiction. I daresay plenty who do just that still experience their fair share of ennui.

    Adam Phillips’ “Missing Out: in Praise of the Unlived Life” was a transformative read. It validated the perspective I had already developed as a young adult. The impulse to run from dissatisfaction or unhappiness is strong indeed, and often these problems can be resolved, or lead to a higher level of meaning and satisfaction by working through. But there are no guarantees. Sometimes there is no point to dissatisfaction except that it is real and we should sit with it.

    The flip side of that is cultivating radical gratitude. Hardship, or even addressing our own mortality can be informative and lead us to more fulfilling modes of life. But I daresay every person at one point or another will experience hardship so profound that it is an end in and of itself. There is no mending. The point of it is simply that it has happened and in order to be authentic beings we must address and live with it. Can we be grateful for that simply on the basis that it is lived experience?

    I don’t know, without reading the book it kind of seems like, good? If a person hasn’t addressed the big questions by their 40’s they probably should.

     

    in reply to: The Happiness Curve #240351 Reply
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