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  • Avatar mapplebum 
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    Both spend friovolously. Women in small more frequent quantities vs men with big ticket stuff.

    I also don’t know how many people can actually afford a 50k watch or purse. Like a microscopic portion of the country.

    I see a lot of people buying 200 dollar shirts or dresses that can’t afford them. Their choice.

    Sephora blows my mind. 50 bucks for a chap stick tube size thing that is like 1 cent to produce and 5 bucks on Amazon with same ingredients , sold to you by people who look like they’re from the hunger games with the crazy makeup. If I could invest in a sephora I would in a heartbeat.

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    I happen to know @msooner is both beautiful and tasteful but yea, that made me LOL. It is a very strange experience having someone put make up on your face when you never in a million years would like to look like them. It’s a horrible process, but once you buy a bunch of make up only to realize you’re sensitive to some of the ingredients, well, there you’ll sit having your face painted by a District 1 citizen.

    in reply to: frivolous female spending #252994 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    Overall there’s less ‘stuff’ for guys to accessorize and don’t really change.

    Suits and ties – styling doesn’t change too radically year-to-year; even decade — while women’s style changes with each season — so personal clothing itself churns a lot faster by this alone.

    For Unisex things — phones — I think most folk are on par with each other.

    Guys OTOH in general speak – mid-life crisis hits harder and hence big ticket items (flashy car and watch and shiny bikes) tends to run higher IMHO.

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    I edited this portion out of my response, conversation took that turn so here I go:

    This post did lead me to realize my husband has nicer everything. Across the board. Maybe it does have something to do with lacking concept of our finances but honestly I kind of think it’s just his taste. Custom suits, Allen Edmonds, J Crew & Charles Tywhitt everything else. Just last night he peered wistfully into his closet and commented how he needs to update his wardrobe. I certainly don’t own more than 25 dress shirts, but whatever dude. Lead your best life. I did go shopping last week, two t-shirts and 3 sweaters all of which are exactly the same color green! I’ve got the blues, reds, and grays so I’m ppprreeetttyyy proud to add a new color to my repertoire.

    It’s like how people justify spending, I see myself justifying not. His car is nicer than mine…but I can buy a new one at any time! And his phone, for sure. But I think expensive phones are stupid. I have a nice backpack, Atlas, but he sports a Tumi. My specs were <$50 from zenni.com, his are designer. I think you get the point. Guess I’m just a classless broad.

    in reply to: frivolous female spending #252784 Reply
    Liked by adventure
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    Interesting that only people with wives have chimed in so far

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    I was thinking earlier this week how I could really use a wife. I do 90% of the spending but that’s also because I do, well, everything.

    In my experience, if a woman overspends, she usually has zero knowledge of finances. It’s often exacerbated if she’s left the work force. Husband “takes care” of the money, she might feel he restricts her spending, but still manages to buy things because she (or her kid) “deserves it.” To me, the issue isn’t the spending but that she lacks context. I find it hard to believe if he sat her down and said “this is why we can afford X,Y,Z” she would run out of the room with her fingers in her ears. No, it would pique her interest and then he’d have to deal with her questions. Not blaming the husband. Blaming both, I guess. Negotiating in marriage is not easy.

    The double standard is that my own spouse has zero interest in personal finance. I doubt he’d notice if I stopped updating him. He’s commented that if I wasn’t so responsible he would have taken control long ago but I don’t really believe that? I think we very much could have gone full boar into the DINK lifestyle after training had I not been holding the reigns. However, I also have no doubt were he to track our spending as I do we would be living on instant ramen until student loans were paid off. He has a tendency to obsess and micromanage. So it’s to the benefit of our marriage he take an active disinterest.

     

    in reply to: frivolous female spending #252703 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    Don’t want to pile on but problems haven’t stopped for me. If I want to see any new threads at all I have to clear my cache. Which I’ve started doing because you people are way funnier than Facebook.

    in reply to: Dead forum? #252290 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    Mapplebum, you’ve lived all those places? While we’re spreading vague platitudes, I’ve heard all Tampa has to offer is crappy sports fans, most likely because the whole city has an unshakable pill habit.

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    Oh totally. Tampa is the guy at the gym who wears a garbage bag and does somersaults on the pull up machine.

     

    Ok, to be fair, and although I have never heard anyone say anything remotely close to this, Jacksonville is probably nice. Both Tampa and Miami would be much higher on my “Places I’d Like to Live” list if they weren’t so dang hot. What I was saying about the Panhandle was as hurricanes increase in frequency and intensity I imagine that area will continue to see an increase in popularity. I mean, who thinks about Panama City or Pensacola? Not many. I bet in 20 years they will be more popular destinations.

    My actual recommendations for families or retirees would be to investigate the towns between WPB and Melbourne, maybe even as far north as Merritt Island but I’ve heard that area is struggling since NASA left? I don’t think that region is good for single / mingle-rs. It sounds like even West Palm is difficult in that regard.

     

    in reply to: Florida roll call! #252058 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    The gulf coast panhandle as a general region is a boon and will likely continue to be so.

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    The Florida panhandle is L.A. …

     

     

     

    (By which I mean Lower Alabama.)

     

     

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    Agreed. I said it’s a boon, not paradise. These places like Seaside and Rosemary Beach are utterly confusing. I don’t understand the appeal. I haven’t returned to St. George Island in over a decade, I hope it hasn’t turned into a tourist trap but it’s hard to imagine it hasn’t.

    Also, I just looked it up. Totally misused the word boon. Oh well

    in reply to: Florida roll call! #251856 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    Wait, what is the question? Florida is the worst. I’m waiting for the point at which I’ve lived elsewhere longer than I lived there (it’ll take another decade and some change)

    Just kidding, I kind of miss it. If I had to move back to FL Tampa is the only city I would consider. Jacksonville is the worst. Tallahassee is confused. Gainesville is constantly trying to prove itself. Orlando is the annoying aunt who drinks too much cough syrup. Miami deserves respect but you don’t have to like it. West Palm….speed boats and cocaine. Need I go on? Ocala is really GA but they won’t admit it. Daytona is your robo-tripping aunt on a motorcycle. St. Augustine is a tourist trap disguised as history. The gulf coast panhandle as a general region is a boon and will likely continue to be so. The keys are the heart and the soul yet everyone forgets about them.

    in reply to: Florida roll call! #251783 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    Wait are you guys serious about not leaving your bike? I live in a top 10 highest crime city and my only fear is someone will take my seat. Get a cord long enough to go around both tires and frame and then call it a day. Yesterday a homeless dude was peeking in the door of my locally owned gym. Guess who stole my bike? No one.

    FLP, that’s a dope ride. I agree it’s weird to get passed on the trail but every now and then it’s by people peddling…

    I refuse to empty my cache again. This thread was only viewable from my phone. I hate typing on my phone.

    in reply to: FLP: what kind of weirdo spends 1500 on a bike #251776 Reply
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    Avatar mapplebum 
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    It might just not be for you. I read her other novels and they were not memorable. What kind of fiction do you usually gravitate towards? It seems like you mostly read nonfiction? 

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    I read a lot of historical (fiction and non) about WWI and II (The Seamstress is on my top 10 list), and do get into murder, thrillers (Gone Girl), and suspense (fiction and non) like Jeffrey Deaver’s Lincoln Rhyme series (although I’m finding as the series progresses that nothing can touch The Bone Collector).

    My all-time favorite book is fiction, the classic, Lonesome Dove. Have read twice and listened to twice (and watched. Movies are never as good, though.) Listened to all of the GOT series so far, but that’s as far as I go into sci-fi, which is really not for me, but I love royal history. GOT, while not exactly historical, hit that note for me.

    I also read a lot of medical bios, memoirs (Being Mortal by Atul Gawande), and history, simply because I get caught up in what our clients do for a living 😎.

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    There might be time and place for these things too. I recently attempted some movie about Virginia Woolf…terrible film…but it reminded me that of all her novels the only one I didn’t finish was Orlando. I pulled it off the shelf this week and it is ABSOLUTELY delightful. I am so glad I didn’t finish it over a decade ago. Even though I completely forgot the story and context I don’t know that I would have picked it back up if I’d plowed through and finished. Now I’m glad I get to discover more of her literature a decade later instead of rediscovering and feeling like I should be spending my time on something else. So, maybe no Ferrante for you now.

    in reply to: What book(s) are you reading right now? #251155 Reply
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    Avatar mapplebum 
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    Earnest refinancing bonus

    Sapiens – absolutely fascinating. can’t recommend enough

    recent non-fiction was The Secret History – Tartt’s novels are page turners for me

    Thanks everyone, keep posting. I have a great list of ‘to reads’ going from this thread

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    I enjoyed it, though not as much as the Goldfinch (which I read first)

    in reply to: What book(s) are you reading right now? #250393 Reply
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    Avatar mapplebum 
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    Have you read Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan series? Absolutely beautiful writing. 

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    I wanted so much to like My Brilliant Friend but I just could not get into it, so I returned it to Audible. Just looked it up again and the top review says,

    “-It’s Worth it to Keep Goin’ 

    I thought I’d chime in on this little novel to say to readers this first part of the so-called Neapolitan novels is worth reading to get to the really good stuff in parts 2, 3 and 4. Do NOT Give Up. I thought about abandoning this about halfway through it. I found books 2-4 addictive.

    Was this your experience? Thinking maybe I gave up too soon. Apparently, the author intended for all 4 books to comprise a single novel and the publisher broke it up into 4 books.

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    No, I read the first in a weekend. Her story telling is Tolstoyian in the sense that there are long scenes and descriptions, most of which are dialogue (vs. action) based. It’s peaceful reading even if I binge read the series. Education, poverty, and female friendships are all topics of top interest for me so it felt like coming home in a way to see how she broached it.

     

    It might just not be for you. I read her other novels and they were not memorable. What kind of fiction do you usually gravitate towards? It seems like you mostly read nonfiction?

    in reply to: What book(s) are you reading right now? #250341 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    When I log on it takes me back to the start page saying I still need to log on but once I click on a thread I’m able to comment. Forum Home hasn’t changed in days, it’s as if no one has commented but then you click on a thread and then see they have.

     

    edit** just checked back at this thread. It says ACN was the most recent poster but the last comment I can see is mine. Weird.

    in reply to: Difficulty logging into forum…. #250336 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    I have been hesitating to “mention” this, but the book I read before the current one was Unmentionable: The Victorian Lady’s Guide to Sex, Marriage, and Manners. It, too, was a cheap daily deal and I really wasn’t expecting much but Audible allows free returns so – why not?

    Anyway, I’ve never laughed so hard – and been so enlightened – throughout a book. I kept thinking – I would love to get feedback from an OB-GYN. Please don’t count me in the died in the wool feminist camp – I’m not – but incredible what women had to put up with in the 1800’s (not that long ago, actually!)

    Highly recommended and so wish a physician would review and provide their perspective.

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    I’ll have to see if my library has it!

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    Actually, I was thinking about you and @hatton1!

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    The book sounds interesting.  I will see if it is on Ibooks.  I just finished the Immortalists.  I recently joined a book club.  How not to die alone.  It is fiction and pretty good.  Next was Educated by Tara Westover.  Excellent.  Currently reading City of Girls.  The book club is great.  We get together once a month and talk about the book at a wine store.  New book with new wine.  I also love anything written be Ken Follet.  I like long books with generational characters.  Loved the complexity of GOT and LOTR.  Read some Heinlein in college.  I also love dark scandinavian authors like Jo Nesbo.

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    Have you read Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan series? Absolutely beautiful writing.

    in reply to: What book(s) are you reading right now? #250151 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    So much non fiction.
    Don’t you guys get enough non fiction in real life?

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    Seriously?  Barely a day in the ER goes by when I say “you can’t make this <fecal matter> up.”

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    Totally! I say this phrase when I do outreach in a community about an hour away from here… so much poverty, drugs, etc. and the stuff they come up with… blows my mind!

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    I watched the HBO docu “Meth Storm” last night, could barely get through. I thought I’d had my share of drug exposure but this was next level, holy cow. I recommend it if nothing else than to gain insight into these populations. Absolutely heart breaking.

    Current read is On Kissing, Tickling, and Being Bored by psychoanalyst Adam Phillips. And one on radical mindfulness by a friend.

    in reply to: What book(s) are you reading right now? #249714 Reply
    Avatar mapplebum 
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    I used to pound either water/home juiced veggie juices/coffee thinking that it was giving me some healthful physiologic benefit. Thinking that I was “hydrating myself”. It just made me pee. Eating definitely made me more prone to being sleepy in the afternoon. That rarely happens now. Even though my last drink would between 7-8PM the night before(maybe a glass of water or a glass of vino), I still make water 3-4x throughout the following work day(just not a hypervoluminous amount). I’m not parched, I’m not dizzy, I’m making saliva, my skin isn’t tenting, I have normal capillary refill and I have normal BP(at least that’s what they say when I donate blood fasted). My wife is IM and doesn’t really believe in fasting, much less dry fasting(as would 99% people on this board). She says it’s just water weight. I’m urinating water 23 hours after my last drink? I’m convinced that the water is physiologically liberated through fat metabolism.

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    I have no doubt that you can do this.  I’m just not sure why you would want to.  Is a glass of water if you happen to feel thirsty during the day going to make you sleepy?

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    No, it’s the food that makes me sleepy. I’m not really all that much thirsty these days. If you’re not thirsty do you drink water? If you do, how do decide how much to drink? I figure it drives fat metabolism which I think drives autophagic pathways.

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    Well, if you’re not thirsty, that’s one thing.  But let’s say it’s during the day and you randomly happen to be thirsty, then you’re still not going to drink even water?  Is that right?

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    Occasionally I’ll wake up in the middle of the night really thirsty. Usually a cup of water will quench it. Been doing this since last Thanksgiving(thanks to obesity code thread from THIS board no less). It’s just that I added not drinking to it. But yeah, I’m not thirsty in an office with AC. I know I can do without so I intentionally hold off till dinner.

    On my days off while dryfasted, I’ll go mountain biking where I’ll do between 1 and 2 thousand feet of climbing. Then I’ll traverse at a local climbing gym where I don’t get off the wall for about 1/2 hour for upper body work out. I’ll bring a bottle of water and some snacks just in case. But since I’ve been doing exercising while fasted, I am able to finish my excursions/work outs without drinking. Some of the hills I’ve been doing for years, I’ve recently been PRing according to my strava app. Could be all placebo. Could be that I dropped 8 lbs.

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    Damn dude. I drink water as much as humanly possible, but I’ve been considering re-incorporating 24 hour fasts on rest days once I finish this cut.

    How do you not get off the wall for 30 minutes?  You’re staying on the same route? Bouldering?  Until husband joined CrossFit climbing was his go-to exercise. It’s a cool sport but IMO looks way more fun than the reality. I think I might have vertigo though…

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    Our climbing gym is a top rope and bouldering gym. After I do my biking, I generally will go when it opens at 11AM and it’s pretty empty. I’ll traverse the widths of the top rope walls. Takes me 15 min to go from one end to the other. If there are people in the way, I just reverse course. Just being on the wall without getting off creates a constant demand on the limbs and the core. It’s called ARCing(aerobic, respiration, capillarity). I don’t think you build muscle, but I do think you build mitochondrial density. Fasting physiology does the same thing. No glucose, you need to burn fat. No water, you need to burn fat. And my shirt is drenched after this. I might top rope once a month, with a buddy. But with the fasting and the occasional traversing I went to struggling with 5.10a’s to flashing 5.10c’s. Hard to explain placeboing up climbing grades, but I suppose it’s possible.

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    nice, you’re strong. I can’t remember what my husband is climbing but it’s around there. Hard 5.10s or 5.11s. The last time I went with him he did something similar, ran up and down easier routes multiple times to get his HR up. And FWIW he transitioned seamlessly to CrossFit. Climbing requires a ton of strength and control. I really wish I enjoyed it.

    I can’t speak to the water fasts but I did the most common IF (18/6) for years, culminating to 24 hour fasts on rest days. It was in conjunction with Keto so while I felt great I eventually had to admit my performance in the gym suffered. (I’ve since decided the Ketogenic diet is like that one ex we’ve all had where you look back and think “what in the world was I thinking??”) If you ever decide it’s time to do a mass or just want a different approach you should check out Mike Israetel’s stuff, he’s the brains behind Renaissance Periodization. It’s becoming the go-to diet for performance athletes and works wonders on common folk like myself. I love the templates, as I prefer to track on a Google doc, but for a little while husband used the app for massing. He never hit his goal weight (150) but mid 140’s vs 130’s looks good on him. I’m mostly doing hypertrophy training so it’s not like I’m PR’ing left and right but my 8 rep back squat is % right in range with my 1RM (which for me is mostly about learning how to brace just enough to complete the set without seeing lights). it’s nice to be on a diet, not hungry, but still seeing progress in the gym. Also nice to wear pants I couldn’t button at the beginning of the summer. Time for breakfast!

    in reply to: What do you eat for lunch #248837 Reply
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