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What to do with spousal income?

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  • Avatar Psyched 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 55
    Joined: 02/03/2016

    Any naysayers to her working, let’s see you stay at home with your children for a few years while your spouse works your typical 40-80+ hour workweek (don’t forget evenings and weekends in that!), then come back and report…ha!

    #227410 Reply
    Lordosis Lordosis 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 2179
    Joined: 02/11/2019

    I had to wait 2 months to get licensed and credentialed in my new state after residency.  We only had one kid at the time but it was still a tough 2 months.  It sounds ridiculous to say it but work life balance swings both ways.

    “Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.”

    #227413 Reply
    Avatar Tim 
    Participant
    Status: Accountant
    Posts: 3339
    Joined: 09/18/2018

    Hey. The elephant is in the room.

    Match!
    Why treat your spouse differently than your kids learning to earn and save?
    Why not show your appreciation by giving her a separate account to simply “waste” and “match it 100% “.
    Spousal bonus plan!

    #227415 Reply
    Lordosis Lordosis 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 2179
    Joined: 02/11/2019

    Hey. The elephant is in the room.

    Match!
    Why treat your spouse differently than your kids learning to earn and save?
    Why not show your appreciation by giving her a separate account to simply “waste” and “match it 100% “.
    Spousal bonus plan!

    Click to expand…

    From my experience spouses do not enjoy being treated like kids. :/

    “Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.”

    Avatar Tim 
    Participant
    Status: Accountant
    Posts: 3339
    Joined: 09/18/2018

    Yes, but anyone likes having funds to spend on just themselves without a care in the world.

    #227452 Reply
    Liked by Tim
    Avatar spotty_dog 
    Participant
    Status: Spouse
    Posts: 88
    Joined: 01/08/2016

    Yes, but anyone likes having funds to spend on just themselves without a care in the world.

    Click to expand…

    😆

    #227469 Reply
    Liked by Tim
    Lordosis Lordosis 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 2179
    Joined: 02/11/2019
    Earnest refinancing bonus

    Yes, but anyone likes having funds to spend on just themselves without a care in the world.

    Click to expand…

    I wish I had such an allowance.

     

    I am in the our money camp.  I make a lot more then my wife but I do not consider any part of that money specifically for me.   She does not consider the money she makes for her.  It all goes to the same checking account and then we siphon off the savings and spend what we want.  Usually there is more to save after that.

    I do not buy very much without thinking things through and usually my wife is the one who talks me into spending money on myself.  My wife is the same way.

    “Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.”

    #227471 Reply
    Liked by Craigy, CM
    Avatar AR 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 873
    Joined: 03/10/2016
    Yeppers. In my naive youth I would never have believed in the “patriarchy”, but this conversation is just dripping with it. Like calling someone a “male nurse”, discussing whether the at-home spouse ought to work for pay, or whether their work will fail to cover expenses like work clothing and daycare and tax burdens that are high because of the primary earner’s high taxable income, has its roots in that whole systemic bias, I’m sorry to say. And I do apologize, that “dawkter” spelling is an old habit. I’ve been chatting for over a decade with a group of physician spouses, a group to which most have cleaved while our medically-entrenched significant others were mere residents but still quite full of themselves because of their profession. In that group we frequently distinguish between “doctor” as a profession and/or honorific, and “dawkter” as a loved one who sometimes gets too big for his or her britches. I’m also very sorry for the expletive! Promise I’m not a cusser, but dang. Sometimes a phrase just fits, LOL.

    Click to expand…

    Out of curiosity what was the spouse equivalent of “dawkter” in your chat group?  Asking for a friend.

    #227481 Reply
    Liked by CM
    Avatar spotty_dog 
    Participant
    Status: Spouse
    Posts: 88
    Joined: 01/08/2016
    Yeppers. In my naive youth I would never have believed in the “patriarchy”, but this conversation is just dripping with it. Like calling someone a “male nurse”, discussing whether the at-home spouse ought to work for pay, or whether their work will fail to cover expenses like work clothing and daycare and tax burdens that are high because of the primary earner’s high taxable income, has its roots in that whole systemic bias, I’m sorry to say. And I do apologize, that “dawkter” spelling is an old habit. I’ve been chatting for over a decade with a group of physician spouses, a group to which most have cleaved while our medically-entrenched significant others were mere residents but still quite full of themselves because of their profession. In that group we frequently distinguish between “doctor” as a profession and/or honorific, and “dawkter” as a loved one who sometimes gets too big for his or her britches. I’m also very sorry for the expletive! Promise I’m not a cusser, but dang. Sometimes a phrase just fits, LOL. 

    Click to expand…

    Out of curiosity what was the spouse equivalent of “dawkter” in your chat group?  Asking for a friend.

    Click to expand…

    That’s a fascinating question that displays an utter lack of understanding of the context of the term. 😀 I mean, it’s not a problem, I don’t always understand the jargon inherent to groups I don’t belong to either! And it’s generally polite NOT to use jargon out of context, so I’ll try to refrain in the future. 😉

    #227530 Reply
    Avatar AR 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 873
    Joined: 03/10/2016
    That’s a fascinating question that displays an utter lack of understanding of the context of the term. I mean, it’s not a problem, I don’t always understand the jargon inherent to groups I don’t belong to either! And it’s generally polite NOT to use jargon out of context, so I’ll try to refrain in the future.

    Click to expand…

    Oh, I think I understand it.  Of course, if you would like to clear it up to improve my understanding, I’m all ears.

    I think the real problem might be is that sometimes when you’re in a group of very like-minded individuals as you describe, you develop a perspective with significant bias which gets reinforced by the group because everyone has a shared common experience.   Such groups certainly have value, but the problem is that looking at certain issues from a different perspective becomes nearly impossible.

    That probably also happens here at WCI quite a bit I’m sure.

    #227730 Reply
    Liked by spotty_dog
    Lordosis Lordosis 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 2179
    Joined: 02/11/2019

    That probably also happens here at WCI quite a bit I’m sure.
    Rent until you are financially independent.
    3 fund portfolio
    Be insured with the right kind of insurance
    DIY investing

    I am sure there are many more repeated themes.

    “Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.”

    #227757 Reply
    Avatar Anne 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 1238
    Joined: 11/07/2017

    That probably also happens here at WCI quite a bit I’m sure.
    Rent until you are financially independent.
    3 fund portfolio
    Be insured with the right kind of insurance
    DIY investing

    I am sure there are many more repeated themes.

    Click to expand…

    Who says rent until you are financially independent?

    #227765 Reply
    Liked by Lordosis, CM
    Avatar spotty_dog 
    Participant
    Status: Spouse
    Posts: 88
    Joined: 01/08/2016

    That probably also happens here at WCI quite a bit I’m sure.

    Click to expand…

    Maybe a bit. 😆

    #227770 Reply
    CM CM 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 1195
    Joined: 01/14/2017

    Yes, but anyone likes having funds to spend on just themselves without a care in the world.

    Click to expand…

    I wish I had such an allowance.

     

    I am in the our money camp.  I make a lot more then my wife but I do not consider any part of that money specifically for me.   She does not consider the money she makes for her.  It all goes to the same checking account and then we siphon off the savings and spend what we want.  Usually there is more to save after that.

    I do not buy very much without thinking things through and usually my wife is the one who talks me into spending money on myself.  My wife is the same way.

    Click to expand…

    My house as well, to the letter.

    Erstwhile Dance Theatre of Dayton performer cum bellhop. Carried bags for Cyd Charisse (gracious). Hosted epic company parties after Friday night rehearsals.

    #227777 Reply
    Avatar Larry Ragman 
    Participant
    Status: Other Professional
    Posts: 638
    Joined: 08/30/2018

    When my wife went back to work we had a conversation about the issue of ours and hers. Intellectually she believes its all ours regardless of earner. Emotionally she wanted some of her own money. I tried explaining she should put it all in her 401K to minimize total taxes. I only convinced her when we changed the framework. Her paycheck now goes to the 401K which reduces the overall tax burden. She claims an equivalent amount from our account to. spend as she desires. Interestingly, she doesn’t spend that much on herself

    #227789 Reply
    Liked by spotty_dog, Tim

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