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Thank you for the advice…

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  • Vagabond MD Vagabond MD 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 3171
    Joined: 01/21/2016

    I think it is very easy to criticize the OP and her decision-making, most notably the decision to not get board certified. Huge mistake. It is like a license to print money.

    Certainly, the outcome has been poor. Perhaps if one or another thing broke in a different direction, we would not be having this conversation at all.

    Get rid of the dogs, you can’t afford them

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    No! I think that is cruel, even if there is some truth to it.

    At this point, the OP needs some support and guidance and especially some money. No reason to kick a dog when it’s down.

    "Wealth is the slave of the wise man and the master of the fool.” -Seneca the Younger

    #207513 Reply
    Avatar ZZZ 
    Participant
    Status: Spouse
    Posts: 426
    Joined: 06/18/2018

    [Comment moderated for belittling.]

    Random bad things can happen to any of us. Choices we make can increase or decrease the odds of many of those things occurring. Think about where you’ve been and where you’re going, and what you can do to stack the odds of success in your favor going forward.

     

    #207518 Reply
    Avatar Starchanger 
    Participant
    Status: Physician, Small Business Owner
    Posts: 6
    Joined: 04/17/2019

    So, were search engines like Google not a thing back in 2010? It’s probably just me, but it would seem joining a single doc practice that had recently brought federal suit against the hospital where it practices for alleged abuse of monopoly power would be a red flag. Admittedly, I’m not familiar with what the OB job market was in 2010, so maybe overlooking that as you chose where to work was a prudent decision at the time.

    “I had to spend $40K on lawyer’s fees/tail to get out of my first contract due to NO fault of my own.” — I’ll probably get moderated for it again, but I’ll go back to the well because I think it’s a critical element for you to avoid continued bad outcomes. You need to come to grips with the fact that despite constant protestation of ‘NOT MY FAULT’, you ARE responsible for the poor decisions you’ve made. Sure, you didn’t initially wreck the relationship between that clinic and the hospital, and the hospital is probably pretty sleazy, and a quick Google search suggests that the Dr. you were joining forces with is a lightning rod for controversy — but despite all that, you decided to sign up for a job there. That was a choice you made, and the bad outcome was hardly unforseeable.

    If I go walk around the bad part of town at 3AM with a wheelbarrow full of $100 bills with several expensive watches on my wrist while burying my face in the latest iPhone blissfully unaware of my surroundings…when I get roughed up and relieved of my things I’m absolutely the victim and that shouldn’t have happened to me, but my own decision making certainly was contributory to the ill that befell me.

    Random bad things can happen to any of us. Choices we make can increase or decrease the odds of many of those things occurring. Think about where you’ve been and where you’re going, and what you can do to stack the odds of success in your favor going forward.

     

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    I’m sorry, but coming out of residency, did YOU know that hospitals would blackball a completely innocent doc just because they tried to join (the wrong) practice?  Give me a freaking break.  The PTSD I developed dealing with the whole freaking situation was worse than residency.  And the reactions and judgments I’m getting here just reaffirm why I trust so very few of my own colleagues anymore.

    I’ve already owned that I’ve made costly mistakes because I didn’t know any better.  That’s why I’m a member here.  I’ve been on a ridiculously steep learning curve and had no help in making the decisions.  I guess I should divorce my husband too?  I was like every other resident coming out.  Looking forward to getting a real job, settling down nearer to my spouse, and getting a real paycheck to start attacking my loans.  When I interviewed, I talked to the local docs, nurses, and admins at the local surgery center (where she now did all her surgeries) AND hospital, NO ONE said anything that would have tipped me off that there was a problem with her or her current relationship with the hospital.  Her original lawsuit had been settled 5 years before my arrival.  Why the eff would I think they would use me to get back at her?  Who does that kind of thing??  Seems like a few in this post certainly would.  Geez.

    I’m out.  This is completely unhelpful and why docs commit suicide.  FFS.

    #207529 Reply
    CordMcNally CordMcNally 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 2132
    Joined: 01/03/2017

    I’m out. This is completely unhelpful and why docs commit suicide. FFS.

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    Wow. I think you’ve received honest advice. Honest advice isn’t always easy to hear but maybe modifying your ability to take constructive criticism can help you grow personally and professionally in the future. Best of luck to you.

    “But investing isn’t about beating others at their game. It’s about controlling yourself at your own game.”
    ― Benjamin Graham, The Intelligent Investor

    #207533 Reply
    Avatar Anne 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 887
    Joined: 11/07/2017

    I was debating whether to add anything.  But I think I have something new to say, and it might be helpful.

    We’ve all made mistakes.  And the people on here who have not made mistakes haven’t lived enough.

    I’m thinking of the 2 dumbest financial mistakes I made:

    1.  15 years ago I took out a loan from my 401k to buy a timeshare with a boyfriend I didn’t even want to stay with long term.  That is like 3 major mistakes for the price of one.  I had a pit in my stomach as I was doing it, but he was very persuasive and I didn’t say no.

    I recovered just fine from that, repaid my 401k in 6 months, got everything taken care of in the eventual breakup, but I blamed him for talking me into a bad decision and harbored resentment against him.  I didn’t consider any of it to be my fault at the time.

    2.  8 years ago I bought a whole life policy from a so called financial advisor.  I had a pit in my stomach as I was doing it, but he was very persuasive and I didn’t say no.

    I recovered just fine from that, fired the FA and surrendered the policy.   Lost a few thousand and I’m sure a few thousand more in opportunity cost.  But this time I looked at why I didn’t say no and saw a recurring pattern that I could address.  I am still not perfect about saying no when I know I should, but I’m 1000% better at it than I once was, which has helped me in other areas beyond financial.

    Your story suggests some recurring themes of poor decision making.  If you can’t figure out the part you can control regarding this decision making, you are going to continue to find yourself in situations where you feel taken advantage of.  I hope this was helpful and doesn’t make you feel worse.

    Avatar jblankenshipnc 
    Participant
    Status: Spouse
    Posts: 4
    Joined: 05/06/2019

    Excuse my ignorance

    What does “DPC” stand for? “Direct primary care” wouldn’t make sense for a surgical subspecialist (sounds like ophtho maybe).

    Is that some sort of acronym related to having cash-only practice?

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    From KevinMD website – Direct primary care’s definition, therefore, is any primary care practice model that is directly reimbursed by the consumer for both access and primary medical care, and which does not accept or bill third party payers.

    I’m actually curious if the definition is actually any “medical” care practice that does not accept or bill third party payers.  I do know that answer, but I’m curious if you could have a specialty clinic such as a sports injury clinic, nor obesity clinic that does not accept insurance – could you be considered DPC?

    #212710 Reply
    Zaphod Zaphod 
    Participant
    Status: Physician, Small Business Owner
    Posts: 5647
    Joined: 01/12/2016

    I’m out. This is completely unhelpful and why docs commit suicide. FFS.

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    Wow. I think you’ve received honest advice. Honest advice isn’t always easy to hear but maybe modifying your ability to take constructive criticism can help you grow personally and professionally in the future. Best of luck to you.

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    Sorry. This while maybe being good advice is in context a completely inappropriate response. They just brought up suicide, and I believe 100% is easily already been considered. This is an emergency and I am very disappointed that this site that prides itself on these things in other contexts (burnout, etc..) totally whiffed on this. There is an appropriate time for criticism, tough love etc….and a time to just do whats necessary so someone can make it to the point where those things can work.

    This is not just about saving a financial situation but a doctors career and possibly life. Embarrassingly big miss guys, this is a call for help and not about finances.

    #213861 Reply
    Avatar Tim 
    Participant
    Status: Accountant
    Posts: 2123
    Joined: 09/18/2018

    Rule #1 – Do what is best for your long term happiness and well being.
    Rule #2 – Do What is best for your career and financial health.

    My only advice is to focus on the future. It really is OK to fail. We all do, the past really doesn’t matter what is important is today and the future. Everyone needs someone to vent to. Feel free to PM. I’m just really deficient in anything that helps with training. Talk about missing a target, but I don’t mind.
    I tell my kids, that is what a Dad is for. I got lucky. My “baby girl” found a Dad #2 that she can rant and vent as a mentor. Too bad you weren’t as lucky. But that’s in the past. What is your next move? I know it’s going to follow both rules.

    #213885 Reply
    Liked by Zaphod

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