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CYAI: Disney Cruise for the family!

Home Personal Finance and Budgeting CYAI: Disney Cruise for the family!

  • Avatar EntrepreneurMD 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 394
    Joined: 06/10/2019

    My 16 year old daughter Drives a Benz SUV with inflated teenager insurance rate, has the $1K iPhone + MacBook +I Pad, routinely goes over on data charges, goes to private HS school ($10K/year), has an hourly private tutor ($5K/year), is currently enrolled in a summer SAT prep course for $6K, has a private collage advisor ($2K/year), owns a horse plus boarding/vet/show expenses ($11K/year), shops brand names daily/only, fast food is beneath her, room is the messiest for the house maid, demands only the best in travel (Europe, San Francisco/Beverly Hills, Dubai, Far East), music/movie/subscriptions, almost daily Starbucks of course.

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    In this day and age how do you not have unlimited data bundle to prevent this from happening. We have T mobile – 4 phones all included for $140, so that I don’t car where and how my 15 year old uses her 2 year old Samsung S8+.

    You are teaching her expensive habits so you will have to pay for it later. Why does a 16 year old need a Benz. Or daily Starbucks. Or exotic travels. Or all those subscriptions ( mine does free spotify, free youtube and the Netflix that comes free with T-mobile). You earn well and can afford it but should you be teaching this lifestyle at this age.

     

    Let me guess, they think they will say no to their teens whose friends come from 8 and 9 figure NW families.

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    I think it does not matter how much their peer’s families are worth. Mine mixes with friends who come from 4-9 figure net worth families and never once felt that we need to keep up with the Jones.

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    thing is at that level of worth, entrepreneurMD’s lifestyle is more typical than the lifestyle you describe.  at some point, people spend more because they can and it is not a tradeoff.  just a decision.   entrepreneur MD has spoken of the importance of habits, so i assume he will agree.  habits kids observe will be modeled.  he’s made a different choice about lifestyle than many here.  likely the choices will affect the habits/views of the children for a long time, but again that is just a choice.  at least the money is spent on education, on safe transportation, on travel experiences.  in a way, it is an extreme version of the american dream we hope for.  on here, we tend to praise thriftiness, but we all say we can’t take it with us.   so here is the conundrum.

    None of these comments are not directed at Kamban by the way, who is my muse.

    many of us are far past any reasonable discussion of ‘need’ and are far into wants.    i think we should exercise some caution here as we discuss parenting approaches.  i don’t know anything about parenting, i was raised by wolves.  i make it up as i go.  i’m praying my kids are happy and well adjusted and prepared for life.  i’m sure everyone is just trying to do what they think best.

    be thoughtful about choices others make and discuss, learn from them, listen to them, but please let’s all remain cordial.

     

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    OMG someone here gets me! I was starting to lose faith, and considered finding a CEO or business owner blog.

    My original point to OP, which was completely missed by many, was that retiring with 3 kids in their teen years is unlikely to allow them to significantly reduce living expenses.

    The Mercedes is a safe and reliable 2015 GLK purchased for $20K with 20K miles on it – does that change any minds about excess? The horse is her passion – deprivation here may lead her to find a boyfriend for a more accepting father figure. I don’t know how maximum spending on education in any way can be taken as poor parenting. No one mentioned that when I asked about $800K towards college/professional schooling. Regarding the vacations, well we’re staying in Fisherman’s Wharf as we speak then heading down the Pacific Coast Highway to West Hollywood. Maybe we can do more modest locations and hotels next time.

    Not sure why some say here I am trying to keep up with the Jones, I accumulate about $500K/year in unspent income. Our household expenditure is $170K/year in low COLA, or about 15% of annual household income.

    Regarding parenting, my parents always gave me everything I ever wanted, I did OK. Not sure regarding the mentality of how deprivation can promote success, to me it dampers ambition and hope – think socialism. My kids are great kids and given my own relation to FI, every breath I take for the next 50 years (God willing) is to assure they achieve multiple fold my level of success. In their teens, already opening Roth’s, planning estate and legacy and plan daily support for them in my retirement.

    Regarding charity, we tithe, I volunteer at a free charity clinic monthly and I serve on their board, we do and donate supplies/funds to missions trips, the kids (and ourselves) are requested to do something helpful or an uplifting word every day for someone, we support children in the third world with monthly donation, we financially support a Christian television station and ABWE (association of Baptists for world evangelism) as well as Kirk Cameron’s choose life campaigns, we discount and write off bills at the office for financial hardship. Yes, we can do more and are looking for where to do it.

    I feel people read things too casually and miss nuggets that can have a major positive impact on them. When I read a comment, it is those comments I don’t agree with that I contemplate and research the most to make sure I’m not shooting myself in the foot by missing a point. Maybe the second kid’s car should be $10K. Maybe more local low COLA vacations. Maybe less expensive sports. Maybe generic clothes/sneakers.

    Thx for the cordial comment.

    #229287 Reply
    Liked by Vagabond MD
    Vagabond MD Vagabond MD 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 3486
    Joined: 01/21/2016

    I am an outlier.

    While I would love to visit Alaska, I detest traditional (big boat) cruises and have growing disdain for the Disney experiences, too. This would be a 100% “no go” for me, but I can totally see this as a dream trip for many, including the OP. Earlier in my life, perhaps ten years ago or more, it would have been on my bucket list.

     

    #229290 Reply
    Avatar artemis 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 607
    Joined: 12/02/2016

    I am an outlier.

    While I would love to visit Alaska, I detest traditional (big boat) cruises and have growing disdain for the Disney experiences, too. This would be a 100% “no go” for me, but I can totally see this as a dream trip for many, including the OP. Earlier in my life, perhaps ten years ago or more, it would have been on my bucket list.

     

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    You should still keep Alaska on your bucket list.  Just do a small ship cruise instead of a big ship cruise.  They are totally different experiences.  I took my parents on a small ship (120 passengers) Alaska cruise back in 2006, and we all loved it.  The emphasis was definitely on watching for wildlife and enjoying the scenery.

    #229322 Reply
    Avatar StarTrekDoc 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 2128
    Joined: 01/15/2017

    Small boat like that — especially River Cruises — are on our bucket lists too.  Top of that list –  Galapagos then Europe river cruise.

    All cruises offer different flavors.  Disney is disney–nothing about that but the product that they deliver and can’t be compared to standard Princess/Celebrity fare.  If one does that, you’ll never get past the price on the website.    Like Cypress Gardens vs Disney Magic Kingdom.

    #229361 Reply
    Liked by artemis
    Avatar artemis 
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    Status: Physician
    Posts: 607
    Joined: 12/02/2016

    Small boat like that — especially River Cruises — are on our bucket lists too.  Top of that list –  Galapagos then Europe river cruise.

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    I can recommend EcoVentura for a small-ship Galapagos cruise.  I went with them a couple of years ago and it was a fantastic experience.

    #229365 Reply
    Liked by StarTrekDoc, Anne
    Avatar Anne 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 1233
    Joined: 11/07/2017

    Small boat like that — especially River Cruises — are on our bucket lists too.  Top of that list –  Galapagos then Europe river cruise.

    All cruises offer different flavors.  Disney is disney–nothing about that but the product that they deliver and can’t be compared to standard Princess/Celebrity fare.  If one does that, you’ll never get past the price on the website.    Like Cypress Gardens vs Disney Magic Kingdom.

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    Is it weird that as a kid I preferred Cypress Gardens to Magic Kingdom?

    #229380 Reply
    Liked by Tim
    Vagabond MD Vagabond MD 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 3486
    Joined: 01/21/2016

    Small boat like that — especially River Cruises — are on our bucket lists too.  Top of that list –  Galapagos then Europe river cruise.

    All cruises offer different flavors.  Disney is disney–nothing about that but the product that they deliver and can’t be compared to standard Princess/Celebrity fare.  If one does that, you’ll never get past the price on the website.    Like Cypress Gardens vs Disney Magic Kingdom.

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    Yes, DW and I are starting to research Tauck river cruises (either Danube or Rhône) for 25th Anniversary in spring, 2021.

    #229404 Reply
    q-school q-school 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 2640
    Joined: 05/07/2017

    .

     

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    OMG someone here gets me! I was starting to lose faith, and considered finding a CEO or business owner blog.

    My original point to OP, which was completely missed by many, was that retiring with 3 kids in their teen years is unlikely to allow them to significantly reduce living expenses.

    The Mercedes is a safe and reliable 2015 GLK purchased for $20K with 20K miles on it – does that change any minds about excess?

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    The thing you have to remember is that most of the physicians here wouldn’t purchase a used Mercedes for themselves, and if you exclude Tesla owners, the average age of the cars around here is probably 8 years old.

     

    #229410 Reply
    Avatar StarTrekDoc 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 2128
    Joined: 01/15/2017
    Anne wrote: is it weird that as a kid I preferred Cypress Gardens to Magic Kingdom?

    Nope.  Liked it too myself.  I know my kids nor wife don’t, but I loved it.  Now that it’s Legoland, still love it since I’m an AFOL.

    Disney, for better or worse, is very manicured and produced.

    #229415 Reply
    Liked by Anne
    fatlittlepig fatlittlepig 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 1286
    Joined: 01/26/2017
    Not sure why some say here I am trying to keep up with the Jones, I accumulate about $500K/year in unspent income. Our household expenditure is $170K/year in low COLA, or about 15% of annual household income. Regarding parenting, my parents always gave me everything I ever wanted, I did OK. Not sure regarding the mentality of how deprivation can promote success, to me it dampers ambition and hope – think socialism. My kids are great kids and given my own relation to FI, every breath I take for the next 50 years (God willing) is to assure they achieve multiple fold my level of success. In their teens, already opening Roth’s, planning estate and legacy and plan daily support for them in my retirement.

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    From what you have written on this forum, I’m somewhat skeptical that your household expenditure is 170K. Fatlittlepig will disagree without being disagreeable- but giving your kids everything they can ever want under the sun in terms of material possessions, and planning for daily support for them in retirement (not sure what that entails, like an allowance?)- I don’t think that’s the way to create self sustainability, and a strong work ethic. The one thing I do give my children without any limit is unconditional love and acceptance.

    #229543 Reply
    Liked by Tim
    childay childay 
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    Status: Physician
    Posts: 1070
    Joined: 01/09/2016
    The one thing I do give my children without any limit is unconditional love and acceptance.

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    Lots of love, little cookies

    #229548 Reply
    q-school q-school 
    Participant
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 2640
    Joined: 05/07/2017
    Not sure why some say here I am trying to keep up with the Jones, I accumulate about $500K/year in unspent income. Our household expenditure is $170K/year in low COLA, or about 15% of annual household income. Regarding parenting, my parents always gave me everything I ever wanted, I did OK. Not sure regarding the mentality of how deprivation can promote success, to me it dampers ambition and hope – think socialism. My kids are great kids and given my own relation to FI, every breath I take for the next 50 years (God willing) is to assure they achieve multiple fold my level of success. In their teens, already opening Roth’s, planning estate and legacy and plan daily support for them in my retirement. 

    Click to expand…

    From what you have written on this forum, I’m somewhat skeptical that your household expenditure is 170K. Fatlittlepig will disagree without being disagreeable- but giving your kids everything they can ever want under the sun in terms of material possessions, and planning for daily support for them in retirement (not sure what that entails, like an allowance?)- I don’t think that’s the way to create self sustainability, and a strong work ethic. The one thing I do give my children without any limit is unconditional love and acceptance.

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    he who gives while he lives, knows where it goes.

     

     

    #229572 Reply
    Liked by Vagabond MD
    Avatar StarTrekDoc 
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    Status: Physician
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    Joined: 01/15/2017

    Very Yoda like saying 😉

    #229576 Reply
    fatlittlepig fatlittlepig 
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    Very Yoda like saying 😉

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    Spoil children and create entitlement and dependency, do not, yoda says

    #229581 Reply
    Avatar Peds 
    Moderator
    Status: Physician
    Posts: 4660
    Joined: 01/08/2016

    Very Yoda like saying 😉

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    Spoil children and create entitlement and dependency, do not, yoda says

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    i thought you were not trying to critique parenting…..

    “To have parenting critiqued on a online forum is unnecessary. ”

    https://www.whitecoatinvestor.com/forums/topic/apology-to-entrepreneur-md/

     

    do we need to get your wife to step in again?

    #229590 Reply

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