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First Follow Up To The Can You Afford It Series: Happy Wife Financial Strife

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  • First Follow Up To The Can You Afford It Series: Happy Wife Financial Strife

    It's been close to a year since I first introduced the "Doctor's Bill: Can You Afford It Series." and thought it might be of interest to see if the submitter(s) went ahead with the advice Johanna and I originally gave.

    I created a questionnaire and sent them out to those individuals who left emails and did get a couple of responses so I decided to create a new post out of it.

    The first one that replied was the individual whose wife wanted him to buy a $3.5M "Doctor's House."

    You can check out the original post here.


    The follow up "Where are they now" post can be found here.


    Thanks for checking it out






  • #2
    Interesting follow up on how he picked up the "peer pressure" and the number of unplanned things that can go wrong. With the big shovel, most any problems can be covered.

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    • #3
      Peer pressure to spend has sunk many a good doc.

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      • #4
        interesting articles

        my wife and i made a similar purchase last year and ended up loving the new home

        not all big home purchases result in regret

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        • #5
          peer pressure? come on.

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          • #6
            But it's only been a year and I thought he was going to save up several years for a down payment? Guess that timeline shortened considerably.

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            • #7
              per the follow up looks like they got a slightly cheaper home

              selling the old house should probably put them in range for a 20% down payment

              i would personally prefer to have more in the bank before signing on for a mortgage that large

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              • #8
                In this particular case since the numbers make sense even with life's unexpected events it was more emotional than financial. What makes me uncomfortable is when spouses aren't on the same page with their financial philosophy, whatever that may be. That was a significant consideration when I was looking for a mate. Peer pressure, spousal pressure or whatever you call it isn't something I'm inviting into my life. Choose wisely my friends.

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                • #9
                  I don't get the peer pressure comment. I seriously doubt the other partners were making comments about their house or lack of multi-million dollar housing. Our group runs the gamut from renting to millionaire dollar homes (in a LCOL area) and I have never heard any such comments. I feel like the pressure was self-applied.

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                  • #10
                    I personally think it was spousal pressure above all else in this situation. Even now he is unsure of whether or not to be happy with his new home (I presume because of the financial implications looming over his head because of it now). That's not what I call a recipe for a happy life.

                    But conversely this would be far less expensive than if they were to divorce because of not getting the house (although I can't imagine anyone would divorce because they didn't get a multimillion dollar home).

                    I don't personally think peer pressure played a role (in the fact that partners were suggesting that he upgrade) but I do feel seeing your colleagues in expensive setups only added fuel to the fire from the spouse's point of view like: See Dr. So & So who is your partner has this great home, why don't we? That's the biggest issue with trying to keep up with all the Dr. Jones's they have surrounded themselves with.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by xrayvsn View Post
                      I personally think it was spousal pressure above all else in this situation. Even now he is unsure of whether or not to be happy with his new home (I presume because of the financial implications looming over his head because of it now). That's not what I call a recipe for a happy life.

                      But conversely this would be far less expensive than if they were to divorce because of not getting the house (although I can't imagine anyone would divorce because they didn't get a multimillion dollar home).

                      I don't personally think peer pressure played a role (in the fact that partners were suggesting that he upgrade) but I do feel seeing your colleagues in expensive setups only added fuel to the fire from the spouse's point of view like: See Dr. So & So who is your partner has this great home, why don't we? That's the biggest issue with trying to keep up with all the Dr. Jones's they have surrounded themselves with.
                      Its extremely alarming to me that the possibilities mentioned are a) get the house and make Mrs MD happy, b) not get the house and Mrs MD files divorce. I know you said it's not a dichotomy but at the same time opposing those two things as the only examples surely gives a hint of " give her what she wants, or face the wrath," thing to some degree.

                      Dr So and So may be up to their eyeballs in debt. This extremely weird thing of "happy wife happy life," that I see perpetuated online is misandry and disgusting. Lots of guys who work to give their wife everything she wants with little consideration about themselves.

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                      • #12
                        "Happy wife, happy life" worked out marvelously for Macbeth.

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                        • #13
                          That's why it's important to marry someone you're financially compatible with.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Panscan View Post

                            Its extremely alarming to me that the possibilities mentioned are a) get the house and make Mrs MD happy, b) not get the house and Mrs MD files divorce. I know you said it's not a dichotomy but at the same time opposing those two things as the only examples surely gives a hint of " give her what she wants, or face the wrath," thing to some degree.

                            Dr So and So may be up to their eyeballs in debt. This extremely weird thing of "happy wife happy life," that I see perpetuated online is misandry and disgusting. Lots of guys who work to give their wife everything she wants with little consideration about themselves.

                            You married?

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                            • #15
                              This wasn't too hard of a question. If you take away a 0 from everything, you end up with someone making 120,000 who wants to purchase a 350,000 house. Happens every day. When you add the 0 back, it becomes an even easier question. It is far easier to save 50% when you are making 1,200,000 vs 120,000, the cost of living proportion is usually a much smaller percentage of your income. The problem becomes when he is living in the 3.5 million dollar home and he feels the need to keep up with the Jones next door who are worth several times more. As long as that doesn't happen, he will probably be fine.

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